episodes 1 - 3: 5 January 1996 episode 4: 10 January 1996 Doctor Who - Crux of the OOOLANGA starring the first Doctor and Ace Haem (haem@lys.vnet.net) - Victim; Ace; Host; Receptionist; Lola Keeper (keeper@si.ucsc.edu) - Cameos nimon (galifrey@fast.net) - crazyman; BOOM; smokebombguy; cameochap; cameoguy; voiceinAceshead; timeofday; securityguard; psychicshockwave; lolamcgovern; VOICE; PUSTULES Spigi (nettles@slaughter.com) - Carrier; FirstDoctor; LOLAMcGovern; VOICEOFTHEHEADOOOLANGA; boringGIT -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::teaser:: * Victim looks at the nice birdies singing in the treetops Ah. What a wonderful day to be alive...I don't think I've ever been so happy as I am today... Hallo ol' Al! Haven't seen you in quite awhile. * Victim turns How yeh doing! Hi Jane! How are you? * Victim hugs Jane * Carrier stares into the Victim's eyes * Carrier feels the odd special effect go off... * Carrier knows that the Victim will soon be a lump of silly putty... * Victim rubs his forehead. "Gee...I feel..." SUBMIT! You shall be one of us... okay so maybe not. * Victim turns stiff and translucent but your sacrifice is for the good of the OOOLANGA race! * Victim collapses onto the ground * Carrier watches the Victim turn into a husk ::title music:: * Ace putters around the TARDIS * FirstDoctor clears his throat Oi, Professor, are we there yet? HMMMM? I can't wait to go to that explosives convention. OH do please stop calling me that, child. Sorry... * Ace pouts Go where? :frustrated: To the explosives convention! You said we could go! Ah, of course, that explosives convention...well, we'll see... * FirstDoctor fiddles around with controls, not really knowing what they do No, look, it's this button - * Ace presses a button Don't touch that! What? Now please do stop diddling about with things, child. We'll be there in no time. * Ace sighs and scuffs her feet OH do stop skulking about. Ah! Here we are now! * Ace looks up eagerly Ace! * FirstDoctor turns on the scanner Doctor! That's not the explosives convention! Of couse we are at the convention, child...it's just a short walk away. Shall we go, HMM? Yeah. Come on, Professor, let's see where you've got us now... * Ace pushes down the door lever and exits * FirstDoctor follows * Ace emerges from the TARDIS I *told* you this wasn't the explosives convention! This looks like an office complex to me! Ah...the convention will just be...over there across from those trees... But, Professor, that's a duck pond! Well...explosives are not good for a girl your age anyway. Professor! Do stop calling me that infernal title! Yes. This looks like quite a nice summer day in... Yeah, where are we anyway? * FirstDoctor sees a newspaper on the ground weeesconsin * crazyman staggers into view Hey, Doctor, look... * Ace points at the crazy man * crazyman falls down Oh dear. I do think he's tipsy. * Ace laughs Tipsy? What's there to drink in Wisconsin? * FirstDoctor goes over to the crazy man * Ace follows the Doctor * FirstDoctor puts his hands on his lapels Stay away! Keep away from me! You're one of THEM!! Do try to calm down, young man. What is the problem, hmmm? * crazyman scurries backwards Hey, wait! * Ace runs after the man No! Keep back! What do you mean, them? * crazyman trips * FirstDoctor goes forward to help the young man up He sounds delirious... Them, you know, everyone knows...yo-you're not one of them? Here, let us get him to that bench over there. You're right, Professor. He's well stoned. * Ace puts one of the man's arms around her neck and helps the Doctor carry him over to a bench What do you mean, child? I don't see a bruise on him. * FirstDoctor gets out a hankerchief and wipes his forehead Who are you? I-I-I don't understand, please don't hurt me... We are not here to harm you... We're not gonna hurt you. We are here to help. Who are you!? I'm Ace, and this is the Professor. I mean, Doctor. Sorry. Why are you following me? My good fellow, we've only just met! I'll go get him some water. * Ace walks off in search of something to drink Now. How are these "them" you speak of? who *FirstDoctor* hey, I'm supposed to flub my lines. How did you survive? Why didn't they get you? I d-d-d-don't understand... Well, you survived yourself, didn't you? HMM? * Host walks down a path along the office complex Ah, there you are. I've been looking for you. I escaped. I hid. but I-I-I was, I mean I, er, oh... Now there is nothing to worry about, young man. Please calm yourself, child. err young man * Host approaches the crazy man * crazyman gets up and tries to run * FirstDoctor notices the new arrival NO!!!!!!! STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah. Hello. Bobo? It's time to go back to the hospital. GET BACK!!!!!!!!! DONT LET HIM TAKE ME! PLEASE, DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! * Host's eyes glint with a purple light briefly, then return to their natural color Come on, Bobo. Let's go. I'm sorry he's disturbed you. DON'T BELIEVE HIM, STAY AWAY!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!! That's perfectly alright... Yes...he did seem out of sorts. * FirstDoctor glances back from the Host to the young man Now, Bobo. You know you've just had a hard day. We'll take you back to the hospital and everything will be fine. * crazyman tries to run, but fails to get up the strength * FirstDoctor wonders where Ace got to * Host picks up the crazy man * crazyman tries to struggle Come along, Bobo. * Host grins hungrily NO!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hush, Bobo. Don't make a fuss. I say, what's wrong with him? * FirstDoctor goes over to them. He, uh...he...has received a blow to the head. He'll be fine tomorrow. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, FOR PITY'S SAKE, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there anything I can do? No, some...treatments...will be sufficient. * Host escorts the crazy man away A blow to the head? My good man, there isn't a bruise on him! STOP HIM, PLEASE, DON'T LISTEN, HE'LL SAY ANYTHING, HE'S ONE OF THEM!!! NO!!! * Ace comes running up to the Doctor with a glass of water Hey, where's he going? I don't know, but it looks a bit suspicious, my child. What do you mean? Where have they gone? I am not quite sure myself...well, I'm sure he'll be alright. Shall we explore? Yeah, sure. Hey, d'you want this water? Ah! Thank you, my child... * FirstDoctor drinks the water...it tastes a bit off... (Which is odd cuz, well, it's water.) So where do you want to go, then? Ah, well, that path over by the Parlingia bushes looks quite promising, HMM? * Ace walks over to the parlingia bushes * FirstDoctor feels suddenly strangely energetic * FirstDoctor walks along with Ace I can't believe we missed the explosives convention... Well, child, I am sure we are close by... Are you sure? Sorry? I mean, what planet is this, anyway? It doesn't look like Melaxus III to me. * FirstDoctor feels rather delirious Professor, are you OK? * FirstDoctor begins to see odd pink elephants prancing about the path * BOOM!!! * Ace looks up sharply Ace! * BOOM FROM THE DISTANCE We haven't missed the convention after all! Come on, Professor! * Ace drags the Doctor in the direction of the boom * FirstDoctor thinks he sees fireworks in the sky * FirstDoctor looks up, and is confused to see nothing * FirstDoctor follows slowly * Ace runs ahead and looks through some trees :moaning: Doctor! It's just some stupid idiot setting off smoke bombs. Doctor? Do you need medical assistance, child? * Ace coughs as the fumes reach her No, no, I'm fine. I just...hey, what d'you mean? * FirstDoctor feels a compulsion to go back to the business center Sorry? Do I know you? * FirstDoctor walks towards the business park * Ace has already turned to walk through the bushes * Ace approaches the man with the smoke bombs Here, what're you doing with those? * cameochap walks by wearing a very long scarf, then vanishes Why do you want to know!? Well, they're well wicked, aren't they? Can I have one? NO!!! They're mine! Sorry...well, look, what are you using them for? Never mind! None of your buisiness! I was only asking! Well, don't! * Ace looks at the guy strangely Why are you so defensive? WE, I mean, I don't like questions... * Ace frowns I didn't mean to be personal. Look, can't you just tell me why you're setting these off? Is the explosives convention anywhere around here? Convention? I-uh, don't quite know what... * Ace sighs Look, forget it. * Ace looks around for the Doctor Doctor! * Ace shrugs and starts to walk away * smokebombguy grabs his head in his hands Hey, are you all right? * Ace goes back to the smoke bomb guy Please stop asking me all these questions! I--I'm so confused... Come over here... * Ace leads him to a concrete slab Sit down. * smokebombguy moans as the pain in his head increases, and gets very dizzy. What's the matter? * Ace panicks I'll go get help! * Ace runs off * smokebombguy starts to feel better, and runs to tell the others. * FirstDoctor makes it to the business center and reports to the intelligence, which asks him about the person FirstDoctor inhabits. FirstDoctor says "I belive it is called Professor. It was travelling with another being." * FirstDoctor is told to infect the other being... ::ending credits for first episode:: * FirstDoctor is looking for the other being * FirstDoctor knows where the being is because it is one of the hive of the OOOLANGA * FirstDoctor spots Ace * FirstDoctor feels a sudden pang Doctor! Quick, come over here! * FirstDoctor yells "Stop!" * Ace turns. What? * FirstDoctor yells "MY CHILD!" What is it? Ah. I have been looking all over for you... That being...man you were with... Yeah, he needs help! He was trying to infect you. We must leave immediately. * FirstDoctor tries to get close enough to Ace to infect her He what? That scumbag! * Ace turns and stomps off in search of the smoke bomb guy * FirstDoctor scowls under his breath * FirstDoctor follows Ace * Ace stops Infect me? What with? He was carrying a deadly virus... * Ace grimaces * FirstDoctor suddenly feels odd as his eyes flash purple for a moment * Ace's eyes widen and she backs off You must come with me, child! Doctor...are you sure you're all right? Of course I am. WE are alright! I am alright! * Ace grabs a can of nitro out of her rucksack and holds it out in front of her Stand back! Keep away from me! * FirstDoctor is getting impatient. * Ace backs away slowly What are you doing, my child? You're not the Doctor. I am trying to save you. Why did your eyes flash purple? * FirstDoctor suddenly drops to the ground * Ace falters. Professor? * FirstDoctor is obviously in pain * cameoguy apears in the background wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt, and vanishes. Doctor! * Ace rushes to the Doctor's side, putting the nitro back in her rucksack * FirstDoctor pounces on Ace, grabbing the rucksack YOU SHALL BE PART OF THE OOOLANGA! * FirstDoctor's voice sounds oddly electronic * Ace growls and kicks the Doctor in the stomach Get off me! hehehehehehe * Ace struggles * FirstDoctor kicks her back * FirstDoctor is much stronger now * Ace grabs the Doctor's shoulders and tries to throw him off you will join us...you must be one of us... What are you doing? If you resist, it will be more painful. * Ace shakes her head violently Child, you must... * voiceinAceshead goes away * Ace yells and head-butts the Doctor [someone named mango comes in and we all get momentarily silly once the tense part of the storyline has passed] ACE!! * FirstDoctor is on the ground * Ace jumps up and backpedals away * Ace grabs her nitro again ::IT tried to transfer to Ace during the head butt but because of the brevity of the contact it ended up only half-transferring and was unable to survive in either host:: ::the Doctor is free of the infection:: Stay back! What have you done with the Doctor? * FirstDoctor gets up, feeling quite groggy I'm right here, child! Oh, I have such a throbbing in my head. What is going on here, HMM? Don't get near me. * FirstDoctor takes a step closer to Ace and stops feeling the acute pain... I'm warning you! * FirstDoctor slowly remembers vaguely and blurrily what happened Oh, put that silly canister away, child. Not until you tell me what you did with the Doctor! I am the Doctor! * Ace scoffs Right. The Doctor would never do that. [mango leaves] We are in danger of being infected by a most unpleasant virus...we must not trust anybody, child! [silliness starts] And why is there a mango talking to you? * Ace looks around for alien-virus-infected mangoes HMMMMM? Are you sure you're not seeing things again, Doctor? Seeing things, my child? I have not been seeing things! [silliness ends; back to the story!] "Trust no one"? That includes you - whoever you are. Why should I believe you're the Doctor? I was not the Doctor. I do believe I was infected...but something happened just now... Oh yeah? And how is it that suddenly you're OK again? You must tell me what happened, my child. Remember! What? Remember what? What was I doing the moment...hmmm, the moment before I changed, hmm? You were trying to bash my brains out, that's what! You must be joking! * FirstDoctor sees Ace's face Come off it! You were the one wrestling me onto the ground! Child, what then? Then I kicked you in the stomach and you kicked me back! That hurt, by the way. How could I possibly do that, child? I don't know and I don't have any intention of finding out again! But then what happened? * Ace sighs Then I headbutted you and you let go. Headbutted? Yeah. Like, I slammed my head into yours. Well, that DOES explain the headache...So now, all we've got to do is have you go around headbutting everyone on this planet. * Ace laughs and lets the nitro drop You really are the Doctor, aren't you? So what happened? * FirstDoctor puts his hands on his lapels HMM? * Ace rolls her eyes and thinks "Oh great, another lecture..." Well child, obviously we CAN'T go around having you "headbutt" everyone on the planet. * Ace mumbles "I should hope not..." We'd exhaust the supply of aspirin in the TARDIS, wouldn't we, HMM? Right, Professor. We must find the creature responsible for this, and I think I remember where it is. We must be careful, child. It will be very dangerous... What is it? Almost any lasting contact with a host will infect you and maybe kill you...that is how they get their energy, child. And then even one of your headbutts would not be much good, would it, HMM? How they get their energy? What d'you mean? They get their energy by literally sucking the life out of you...through physical contact. * Ace thinks I could blow them up! They reproduce in that way...everyone giving to the mind of the OOOLANGA That's horrible. So can I blow them up, Professor? Explosives are NOT going to solve the problem, my child! Hey, and what about that guy who was making the smoke bombs? He was really touchy. * timeofday is starting to get near dusk Perhaps he was releasing some of their toxins into the sexual air supply ::aside:: I know, wrong Doc, but hey... Their what?! Which means that even you might be in danger! OH good gracious! But, Professor, I was in that smoke! It smelled naff, too. We must find an antidote at once. So, Professor, how did you get infected? That is an excellent question, child...I am trying to think of what we've done...I... * Ace blanches Let us retrace our steps in our mind... Oh no...the water... What is it, child? That water I gave you! What if it was infected? Yes...the water...yes, of course, the water must be infected. HMMMM-HMM. So...if you had some of the water, d'you think you could figure out an antidote? Yes, my child. That is, of course, what we must do...the question, of course, being where you located the water to begin with, HMM? * Ace points I got it over there...from that fountain. * FirstDoctor walks over to the fountain * Ace roots through her rucksack and locates a plastic flask with screw-on orange top * Ace gives the flask to the Doctor Here ya go, Professor. Ah...that should just work... * FirstDoctor gets a good enough sample from the fountain * FirstDoctor screws on the top and gives it back to Ace * Ace puts the flask back in her rucksack Should we go back to the office building now? Of course. We must do this at once, child. I suspect there is a laboratory in that complex, as well. We have no time to lose, child! Do we get to break in? * Ace grins happily * FirstDoctor begins to walk hurriedly towards the complex * Ace jogs after the Doctor * Ace pulls the Doctor aside Hey, look, Professor - a guard. I see. Do stop pulling my arm like that, child. * Ace lets go. Sorry. There was a back way though... * FirstDoctor walks towards the back entrance. * Ace grimaces and rubs the bridge of her nose. * Ace follows the Doctor, looking around warily Ah! Here we are... I wish I had that blaster we picked up on Sontara. * securityguard is too brainwashed to notice them going to the back exit Hey, Professor, what if that guard saw us? * FirstDoctor begins to realize that he might have to role play a little... I think, my child, that they might not realize that I have become uninfected... Brill! Professor, you're a genius. Brill! I do think we should teach you ENGLISH again, Dodo. * Ace sighs I'm not Dodo, Professor. Your name is Dorothy, is it not? * Ace moans Professor! I *told* you not to call me that! Would you prefer to be called Dottie? Eeuch! HMM? DOCTOR! * Ace is truly annoyed That's a kid's name! Now we must find the laboratory...I do believe it's over here...follow me, Ace... Thanks, Doc. * Ace grins maliciously Hey, Doctor, what am I supposed to do? Be your prisoner? * Ace chuckles Yes, that might be a good idea...Ah, here we are... * psychicshockwave hits the Doctor and Ace as they open the door... * Ace staggers back * FirstDoctor staggers back as well * Ace plops onto the ground ::ending credits for second episode:: * Ace holds her head Child, you must do that head contact with that kind scientist over there...we need her help if we are to combat this virus and whoever is controlling it. * psychicshockwave doesn't affect the Doctor as much for some reason...but Ace is losing it * Ace gets up woozily OK, I'll try. * Ace walks up to a female scientist whose name is Lola McGovern * Ace smiles sweetly Hello, Lola. * LOLAMcGovern is serving the OOOLANGA * Ace head-butts Lola * LOLAMcGovern slumps to the ground. How do you know her name, child? I think you've been infected. * Ace points It's on her name tag. See? Oh. * Ace plucks off Lola's name tag Hey, Professor, look. It gives the name of the building. We're in the Institute of Viral Research and Development. * lolamcgovern is lying in pain on the floor Interesting...but who is behind all this, I wonder? No matter... Oahhhhow! * FirstDoctor bends down and speaks to the scientist My dear lady, what is the last thing you remember, HMM? I'm not quite sure, it's all so foggy. I'm Ace, and this is the Doctor. * FirstDoctor nods * FirstDoctor does a quick syllabus of the first two eps to Lola I seem to remember something about a Project. * Ace can almost see the capital P in Project What is important is that we find an antidote... * Ace pulls out the container of water from her rucksack Here's that water, Professor. Thank you, child, but I'm not thirsty. I don't really think I can help you, I only know what I can remember. Well, look, you're a scientist, right? Yes, but I really don't remember much after about a year ago...I think I was infected shortly after that. Good gracious! So the planet has been like this for a year?! HMM! Well, do you still remember how to work a microscope? Yes, of course, it's like ridding a whoplegiger! * Ace does a double take You can't forget it. Oh - yeah. Whatever. * FirstDoctor blinks Well, here. This is what's infecting everybody. We think. * Ace hands Lola the water [more brief silliness] * Haem appears in the background "You should go into the woooh-tuh..." * FirstDoctor did NOT see that... [end of silliness :>] * FirstDoctor suspects she might be still infected by Flubbilia Why do you suspect the water, dear child? Well - you said after you drank it you started feeling funny! Ah...did I indeed! * Ace sighs You can't have forgotten already! I seem to remember something about the water...something to do with the Project... Well, it does seem like a good place to start, doesn't it? HMMM...and who is heading this PPProject, HMM? Oh, it was Doctor Sullivan, but that was a long time ago. I hadn't seen him for a month before I lost my memory, and I wasn't infected until several months after that. Is this Dr Sullivan still heading this PPPProject? I don't know. As I said, he disappeared before any of this started. Don't you think we should hurry up and take a look at this water? Well, my lady, do you know who took over in his place, HMM? I'm not sure. * Ace sighs and takes the water into a nearby lab * Ace looks at the microscope with trepidation I wish I'd passed Biology O Level... After Dr. Sullivan left, we just received orders from "higher up"...no explanation, we were ordered to work. * FirstDoctor goes to look at the microscope... It is okay, child. I think I have a grasping of the basics of science. Let me see the microscope... * Ace backs off and lets Lola at the microscope * lolamcgovern looks into the microscope, stares for a while, and backs away, with a shocked look of recognition on her face. Well? * FirstDoctor has a look at the microscope. Now I remember. Nanomachines! Nanomachines? Nanowhatzits? Yes, that's what we were working on. Dr. Sullivan wanted to create an ultimate weapon...but something went terribly wrong. I'm not sure what. What's that, then, some new kind of domestic help? An ultimate weapon? And what was the weapon to be used for, I wonder? Hmmm... So what about these voices in my head? Do those nanowhatzits do that too? Not them, persay, but the intelligence that took them over... But what does that have to do with the virus, HMMM? Maybe these nanowhatzits ARE the virus. I think Ace may be right. Ah. Of course. The nanomachines are viruses...and this Doctor Sullivan is controlling them? I don't think so, it's not like him at all. This was nothing like what he planned. He was an idealist. So maybe he got taken over too. Maybe he's where it all starts. Yes...This poor Sullivan must have been taken over as well... Yes, but what is controlling it? Did he ever go off anywhere? You know, like on vacation. Maybe that's where whatever it is took him over. Not that I know of, but near the end, he worked more and more hours on the project...he was almost obsessed. He said he was on the verge of a breakthrough. But what if he never left, HMM? Could that be possible, I wonder? * FirstDoctor feels proud of his intellect and clutches his lapels proudly You mean something came here? I don't know, Ace. ...Until one day when he didn't show up, and men from the military came... The military? They said he had been killed in a skidzoober accident, but he was always a careful driver. It didn't make sense. * Ace nods in understanding Yeah, I drove one of those once. They're not easy to crash. Wicked vehicles. Yes, the military were involved from the start, but Dr Sullivan had kept them from interfering. Well, we must make this antidote and find whoever is controlling... * FirstDoctor suddenly feels a great pang... I don't think it's as simple as finding an antidote...they are nanomachines ruled by a central intelligence. I remember now...the OOOLANGA! Hang about - does that mean the Doctor still has nanomachines in his body? Yes, and probably so do I. So can this intelligence, whatever it is...can it take people over again, without re-infecting them? * FirstDoctor suddenly, without warning, slumps to the ground Gordon Bennett! Professor! * Ace kneels down * lolamcgovern begins to pass out again. * Ace yells "Lola!" * lolamcgovern and the Doctor get blank looks on their faces * Ace runs past them, out of the room * FirstDoctor fights it ::ending credits for third episode:: * lolamcgovern is struggling on the floor to fight the OOOLANGA, but failing * Ace finds a fire extinguisher on a wall and yanks it off * Ace runs back in the room and lets flow a stream of CO2 * lolamcgovern stands up to follow Ace, but is called away by a higher power..... * FirstDoctor is concentrating on tring to fight the infection. * Ace douses Lola with carbon dioxide foam * lolamcgovern coughs, but is strengthed enough by the nanites to fight it. * Ace throws down the useless fire extinguisher and runs back out * lolamcgovern helps the first Doctor up We must return. The OOOLANGA call.... Thank you, young lady. * FirstDoctor thinks about that celery idea he had a bit ago... * Ace looks around frantically for something to use to free Lola and the Doctor * Ace runs into a lab and grabs some fruit fly anaesthetizing fluid * Ace unstoppers the Fly-Nap and brings it back into the room No, not ether! * FirstDoctor grimaces * Ace waves the Fly-Nap under Lola's nose * Ace grimaces in frustration, throws down the Fly-Nap, and runs back out * Cameos run through, very slowly in cartoon ether effects -- three black-and-white toons pursued by a fat blue-uniformed guard carrying a butterfly net. * Ace blinks three times then keeps going * FirstDoctor gets up, temporarily controlling the infection * FirstDoctor blinks, thinking he is seeing things I must find a way to control this! * FirstDoctor finds a conventiently located day-bed and plops on it, unconscious * Ace rifles through the drawers in a lab and finds some paraffin film * Ace thinks... If I can make her unconscious, will it make the virus die or will it let it establish a hold? * Ace shrugs and decides to try * lolamcgovern is called away before Ace can get to her, giving up chasing Ace * Ace runs back in the room * Ace looks around for Lola and, not seeing her, rushes instead to the Doctor Professor? * FirstDoctor is muttering things under his breath Wakey-wakey, Professor! Oh, *come on*, Doctor! gruh--- bluh bluh * Ace slaps the Doctor's cheeks urgh OOOLANGA * Ace recoils What about them? Doctor! * Ace picks up the Fly-Nap bottle and waves it under the Doctor's nose * FirstDoctor jumps up suddenly One day, I shall return! * FirstDoctor looks at himself * FirstDoctor HMMMS Oh, you're awake. * Ace puts the bottle down * FirstDoctor is sort-of awake Of course i'm awake, Susan. My name's Dodo - I mean, Ace, Professor. * FirstDoctor blinks Are you feeling OK? I think I am alright...for the time being...now we really must try to see how we can get back to our original size, HMM? * Ace blinks again and looks at herself You mean I'm supposed to be six feet tall, Professor? HMMM? What on earth are you talking about, HMMM? Never mind. What happened? Did it try to take you over again? Yes... It seems your lovely trick with your head doesn't quite do the trick...I have an idea what might be causing it though...I must work on an antidote... * Ace frowns Do you think that smoke infected me, Professor? I very much suspect that that may be the case. * Ace gives the water to the Doctor Here you go. I'm gonna look around. * FirstDoctor puts his hand on Ace's shoulder * FirstDoctor begins to work on the antidote * Ace leaves * FirstDoctor begins to work on something to combat those nano nasties. ***** * lolamcgovern staggers towards the office complex, obeying the will of the OOOLANGA. * Receptionist stands up to greet Lola Welcome, Ms McGovern. * VOICEOFTHEHEADOOOLANGA tells Lola to infect some more people * VOICEOFTHEHEADOOOLANGA must have more knowledge * VOICEOFTHEHEADOOOLANGA MUST HAVE MORE KNOWLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!! We must have MORE KNOWLEDGE! * Receptionist smiles in an evil manner Have you mastered your feeding technique yet, Lola? I CAN FEEL HER WORLD...HER LIFE FILL MY WHOLE BEING... * lolamcgovern sees the shapeless form of the Head OOOLANGA, a collection of purple, luminescent pustules looming in the center staircase, filling the entire height of the building. * Receptionist turns to welcome the Head OOOLANGA I obey. But, a warning. WHAT WARNING WOULD THAT BE? This Doctor, he is dangerous. I feel it. And his companion...we must track their movements, master. * Receptionist spots an uninfected person walking past * Receptionist walks away saying "Excuse me - Zsa Zsa - would you mind coming over here for a moment?" * BoringGIT sings "I was walking down the street one day..." * Receptionist gets mad. Ah, such a fine morning! I don't think I've ever felt better! Zsa Zsa, you boring *git*! * BoringGIT sings "I wanna singa!" * BoringGIT is in boring-git dreamworld Zsa Zsa, come here a moment. I have something I want you and Ms McGovern to see. "about the moona and the juna and the springa" Oh, sorry! Cath! * Receptionist starts to look around Oh - we! I mean, me! Yes? * BoringGIT walks over to her friend, not knowing what eeevil things lurk in the hearts of pustules * Receptionist glances at Lola Now, Ms McGovern - notice the friendly, trusting look I give Zsa Zsa. I thought we were going to have lunch later, by the sunnyside cafe? * lolamcgovern watches in anticipation of learning to infect others. * Receptionist smiles sunnily at Zsa Zsa And watch the brevity with which I establish contact. * Receptionist's eyes glint amethyst Cath? Yes, Zsa Zsa? You alright then? The question is - are *you* all right? * BoringGIT feels a frightening hand clench herself Now, Ms McGovern - now we gloat. Good. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo Your sacrifice is for the good of the OOOLANGA race! * Receptionist smiles as the boring git turns into a lump of silly putty * BoiringGIT feels herself disappear in a heartwrenching thud. * Receptionist breathes in. Ahhh, that feels nice. I am...refreshed. I understand fully. But now, about my warning..... Yes. Excuse me - I was hungry. Please proceed. What can be done to watch this Doctor? * Receptionist looks up at the Head OOOLANGA YOU MUST INFECT THE BEING KNOWN AS "ACE". But, master, should you not personally deal with such a threat, with the combined resources of the OOOLANGA in you? NO MATTER...I...WE ARE OBSESSED BY THIS ACE. YOU MUST FEEL THIS TOO...THE OOOLANGA NEEDS ACE AND WITH HER WE SHALL GET THE DOCTOR. CONCENTRATE! LINK YOUR PUNY MIND WITH MY OWN! I feel it, master. TO CREATE A UNIFIED WHOLE... * lolamcgovern feels the entire gestalt of the OOOLANGA entering her, as an influx of purple pustules consumes her.... * Receptionist looks at Lola with a bit of jealousy FOR THE MOMENT WE WILL ACT WITHIN YOU, THE ONE FORMALLY KNOWN AS LOLA MCGOVERN I OBEY. * HEADOOOLANGA privately tells Lola to kill the one formerly known as Cath * HEADOOOLANGA tells Lola "WE DO NOT NEED HER ANY MORE..." * Receptionist angrily looks up at the Head OOOLANGA Do I not deserve a measure of your power? I have faithfully served you for this past year and yet I am not allowed even a meagre portion of your majesty! * HEADOOOLANGA is getting impatient * Receptionist grimaces at Lola and tries to feed on her * Receptionist's eyes glint purple YOU ARE TOO MUCH OF AN INDIVIDUAL. * HEADOOOLANGA kills the Receptionist itself * Receptionist screams and turns into a translucent husk * lolamcgovern feels the mind of the Receptionist dying, and grimaces slightly. * Receptionist collapses onto the floor and cracks apart into a clear powder * HEADOOOLANGA takes over LolaMcGovern NOW WE ARE ONE WITH THE OOOLANGA. * lolamcgovern leaves to find the Doctor and Ace ***** * Ace walks back into the room where the Doctor is working * lolamcgovern finds the Doctor and Ace in the lab Ace, I do believe I have it! Ace! Doctor! Finally! * Ace turns. Lola? Where were you? I managed to fight them off. I'm so glad I found you... * FirstDoctor gives Ace the serum * Ace glances down at the syringe This will get rid of those nano-nasties, child. That stings, Professor! It's supposed to sting, my child - it's the quasihedrilical basooonisks. If you say so, Professor. I ought to tell you that I didn't find anything else here. I didn't even see another living person. * Ace rubs the injection wound That's rather odd...a business complex with barely anybody in it... Lola, hold out your arm... NO! I mean, sorry, I'm allergic to quasihedrilical basooonisks. Miss McGovern? * FirstDoctor is confused * FirstDoctor wonders how Lola McGovern would know what quasihedrilical basooonisks are I'll be alright without it. Are you sure? That's rubbish, young lady. Anyway, there is no way to cure the nanites. Only a person's mind can fight off the OOOLANGA, but the serum will prevent re-infection. What's a quasihedrilical basooonisk when it's at home? * Ace is proud of herself for getting that big word round her tongue * lolamcgovern pats Ace on the back * FirstDoctor whispers to Ace that he made it up * Ace giggles * Ace suddenly frowns * Ace whispers back Then why is she allergic to them? There is no way you could be allergic to quasihedrilical basooonisks, I know for a fact. I suspect that you perhaps are not who you say you are, HMM? * FirstDoctor grips his lapels No, Doctor. I confess, I'm scared of needles... * Ace pulls out some nitro inconspicuously Sorry. Ace, you can put that away. * FirstDoctor tries to grab Lola Ace! * Ace sets the nitro down and helps the Doctor restrain Lola Got her, Professor! Do put that thing away! It will only make matters worse. I can hardly reach it from *here*, Doctor! * FirstDoctor injects lola Get off me please! I'm on your side ;) [another moment of silliness] [They like to conquer worlds with kindness ;>] [end of silliness] * FirstDoctor has injected the mixture Professor, what happens if she's infected now? It won't kill her, will it? * lolamcgovern winks at herself, and starts to pretend she has been cured. Oh, thanks you! I needed that. You were very perceptive. I do not know, child...if she has been cured, as she says, it will not do much...it should tell me what I want to know, however. I put something in there that will tell me if that is the Crux of the thing... * Ace grins Wicked! A truth serum? No, but she will not be able to keep the serum within her... she will have to um...uh...how do i say this politely...get rid of it...through means known to her... * Ace frowns through what she usually uses to speak... Forget it, Professor. * lolamcgovern suddenly grabs the Doctor, and a giant purple haze engulfs them. Professor! Down, child! You must get down! * Ace slams into Lola I think we have found our Crux! NO! WE ARE TOO CLOSE! YOU CANNOT STOP US NOW! * Ace tries to knock Lola away * FirstDoctor grabs a hankie and coughs into it * lolamcgovern and the first Doctor fall on the floor, and begin a mental battle... * FirstDoctor concentrates... * FirstDoctor can still connnect with the OOOLANGA * Ace runs back and grabs the nitro Where is it, Doctor? * Ace wants to destroy the Crux * FirstDoctor has his eyes closed and waves Ace away WE MUST TRIUMPH! WE MUST EXPAND! YOU CANNOT STOP US! DR SULLIVAN TRIED, AND WE DESTROYED HIM. YOU MUST SUBMIT! What is this about then, HMM? * lolamcgovern pressures the Doctor's mind * Ace grabs the rope ladder from her rucksack and wraps it around Lola's neck Just what is this about then, HMMM? * lolamcgovern laughs the rope off * FirstDoctor barely recognises Ace * Ace tugs on the rope, trying to block Lola's windpipe and get her unconscious NO, ACE! * Ace lets go of the ladder AHEM Anyway, you should go about telling me about your hideous plans to know everything. * lolamcgovern draws the Doctor's mind into the OOOLANGA's Now, you shall battle me on MY terms! * FirstDoctor begins to know everything * Ace fidgets, wondering what she can do * Ace is not very talented at mental war * VOICE calls to the Doctor * FirstDoctor sees how the Crux can be tempted by this YOU ARE IN MY DOMAIN NOW. SUBMIT! MY REALITY RULES. * Ace rubs the bridge of her nose again I will not submit! You wanted knowledge, HMM? A public library wasn't good enough for you? * FirstDoctor is talking to the Crux * VOICE draws all OOOLANGA into the battle, and appears as a mass of purple pustules to the Doctor... * Ace begins to be affected by the proximity of the OOOLANGA influence * FirstDoctor is of course oblivious to all the really nasty-looking pustules * VOICE unwittingly draws in Ace, too. * Ace starts coughing again Professor...? And what do you plan to do with all the knowledge? * PUSTULES loom closer to the Doctor and Ace HMM? Start up a private archive so you can sit and stare at it? WHY DO YOU CARE? I like to know about an "organization" before I "donate". * Ace suddenly understands Professor, it's like a domino game! Knock over the first piece and they all go down. WE EXIST TO EXPAND. THAT IS OUR PURPOSE. WE ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE TO FACILITATE OUR EXPANSION. IN THIS CASE, WE FOUND DR SULLIVAN'S NANOMACHINES AND "ADAPTED" THEM. You know, Crux. All of this...it has to end sometime...and where will you be then, HMMM? EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING. THEN WE WILL BE CONTENT. Content?! Content? How can someone like you be content thinking that perhaps there is something you do not understand, HMM? But you do not understand and you WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! NOW, ENOUGH TALK! SUBMIT! You are a perpetual child. The child in the candy store, hmm? * PUSTULES fly towards the Doctor and force him to the ground... NO! I WILL NOT LISTEN! * FirstDoctor is in pain but continues going * Ace looks at the pustules No! Stop! You really don't get it, do you? There's no way you'll be happy when you've got everything. It's like...well... * Ace tries to think of an analogy the OOOLANGA will understand * Ace can only think of blowing up the OOOLANGA YOU WILL STOP YOUR INFERNAL MEDDLING IN MY DREAMS OF CONQUEST! SUBMIT! I WILL FORCE YOU TO BE QUIET! You'll never know ANYTHING...and what you do know will never compare to what you DO NOT KNOW. NO! YOU ARE WRONG! YOU MUST BE! * PUSTULES struggle harder to crush the Doctor... I am not wrong! So, OOOLANGA - who created the first nitroglycerin? How did I get to Iceworld? What's the population of Perivale? How many pounds of cheese do the people in Wisconsin eat every year? I - I DO NOT KNOW...I MUST KNOW! I MUST! YOU WILL TELL ME! Your petty conquests are as petty as GLACOMA, who spent her entire life trying to smite one guppy. * PUSTULES divert their attention to Ace. How did the ant cross the road, HMM? How far away is Jupiter from the sun? How many gloceps in a girama, HMM? * PUSTULES split in two and scream! How many does one plus one make? How much does a hen weigh? How can you tell the difference when a slasimer eats and when it sits and prays? How long is a string? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST KNOW!!!! NO!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How many Hoothi does it take to cover a planet? * Ace looks at the Doctor Hoothi? Uh........you'll find out soon enough... * PUSTULES dissolve in a flood of purple pustules. Yuck. * PUSTULES release the Doctor and Ace back into the real world. * FirstDoctor is very exhausted * Ace sighs in relief * FirstDoctor didn't feel quite himself during that battle... he kept on seeing images of...a man...carrying an umbrella with a red question mark handle... What's next, Professor? What is next? I think a good shower might just be in order. * Ace stands up Do we have anything left to kill? Ah...with the Crux destroyed, everything falls apart. Like you said, it's a game of dominoes... * Ace scratches her head * Ace looks down at Lola's body * Lola's body is husky and translucent So was anyone here left alive? I have a feeling that numerous people in this fair state of Weeeeeeescson will awake with a bad headache and perhaps a frightening dream. err rememberance of a dreeam You mean Wisconsin, Professor. Yes...but that is no matter, my child. No matter. * Ace starts walking out the door with the Doctor So what happens to everyone who was controlled? And what about the nanomachines? * Ace rubs the bridge of her nose self-consciously HMMM? As I said, they will wake up with headaches and remembrances of dreams. Without the Crux, the nanomachines will wither... * Ace sticks out her tongue Yuck. * FirstDoctor sees the pustules dying everywhere and slowly turning into purple ash * Ace looks down too Did I step in that? Yes, the smell is starting to bother me as well, child. * Ace examines the bottom of her Doc Martens * FirstDoctor sees purple gooey ash * Ace wipes the soles of her boots on a doorframe Well, perhaps it is all the better. * FirstDoctor hates Ace's Docs * FirstDoctor chuckles softly to himself Is this stuff gonna come off, Professor? * FirstDoctor sees the TARDIS in view... Maybe we'd better go to the Intergalactic Shopping Mall after we get to the explosives convention. Child, we have both narrowly escaped being taken over and you can only think about those hideous boots. * FirstDoctor opens the TARDIS door for Ace * Ace shrugs * FirstDoctor realizes that he's too grumbly * FirstDoctor sets the coordinates... * Ace goes in the TARDIS, trying again to scrape the purple goo off on the outer plasmic shell * FirstDoctor chuckles again So where are we going, Professor? 2012...summer...I do believe one of the most famous Intergalatic Mall sales, if i'm not mistaken. ::The TARDIS doors close:: * Ace grins Thanks, Professor. ::The TARDIS dematerializes:: ::ending credits for fourth episode::