most of ep 1 - 30 June 1996 Doctor Who - The Anchovy Invasion starring the third Doctor and Nyssa, and introducing Liam ElsaF (elsaf@usa.pipeline.com) - _Nyssa_ Haem (haem@lys.vnet.net) - Folegandros, Igoumenitsa, Alatzonisi Qualin (bennettb@cuug.ab.ca) - ThirdDoc The_Master (roger_w@mbox.gaiacom.co.uk) - Anton yatesy (lennon@netcom.com) - Liam_ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Folegandros bustles around his little souvenir shop, dusting shelves and checking the till * Liam_ walks along the sand strewn streets, his pockets seemingly empty, yet full, and hankers for some pizza... * _Nyssa_ is on vacation... enjoying a holiday in the Greek islands * Folegandros glances outside - classic Mediterranean weather, though there's a stormcloud on the horizon... * Liam_ stops into a shop * Liam_ looks at the cheesy touristy things on the shelves, amused * _Nyssa_ comes into Folegandros' shop * Folegandros is instantly slavishly attentive to the young girl Hello, miss - can I help you with something? <_Nyssa_> Shop keeper, I'm looking for a restaurant to have lunch. Is there anything around here? * Folegandros is a bit disappointed that she is not here to buy plastic stuff Yes, madam, there is a very nice eatery back up the hill... * Liam_ taps Nyssa on the shoulder <_Nyssa_> Yes? 'scuse me, ma'am, I know of a little place by the sea down the road. * Folegandros huffs <_Nyssa_> Someplace we can get some pizza? Well, if my advice is not required... Oh yes, wonderful pizza. * Folegandros wanders off, muttering things about people who shop but don't buy <_Nyssa_> My friend, the Doctor, was telling me about pizza, and I do want to try some. * Liam_ asks Nyssa nicely Would you like me to show you where it is? * _Nyssa_ is friendly but completely unaware that this guy is trying to hit on her <_Nyssa_> Yes, that would be so nice! * Liam_ smiles Wonderful! It's this way... * Liam_ opens the door for Nyssa * _Nyssa_ leaves with Liam * Folegandros watches them take off, then squints as he spots something gleaming on the beach * Folegandros shrugs and goes back to dusting knick-knacks So, what's your name? <_Nyssa_> I'm Nyssa. I come from Traken. Traken? Hmm...that's near Surrey, isn't it? * Liam_ smiles mishieviously <_Nyssa_> No... that's a bit farther away. In fact, Traken's not there any more. My name is Liam. I'm from Manchester - my uncle lives up the road a bit. * _Nyssa_ and Liam approach the pizza parlor <_Nyssa_> We didn't have pizza on Traken. I really want to try it. The Doctor says it's one of the best things ever invented on Earth. Well, this Doctor person is quite the all-knowing one! :grins: Well, here we are! * Liam_ holds the door for Nyssa * Igoumenitsa looks up from behind the counter as the duo enter * _Nyssa_ smiles at Liam * Liam_ waves at Igo * Igoumenitsa smiles and nods at Liam Igo! My good man! How's the dough today? The dough is especially tender this afternoon! You'll love it, I promise! <_Nyssa_> We want a large pizza, with EVERYTHING! Nyssa! Are you sure you wanna get into everything so soon? * Igoumenitsa blinks Everything, miss? <_Nyssa_> Everything! I want the complete pizza experience! It's your choice, Nyssa. * Liam_ secures a booth for himself and Nyssa Are you sure you don't want our special Greek pizza? Simple, brushed with olive oil and flavored with a variety of local herbs? * Igoumenitsa raises an eyebrow hopefully Extra anchovies, Igo! * Igoumenitsa relents Ah, all right! Everything, it is! * Igoumenitsa shuffles back to the kitchen and begins piling ingredients onto the prepared crust Nyssa, do you like this island very much? <_Nyssa_> It's very nice... peaceful. Much like my home world. Yeah, I'd like to get off this godforsaken island and see some real things, so I can exercise my mind. * Igoumenitsa sprinkles a bit of feta on the pizza * Igoumenitsa tosses on some cured olives * Igoumenitsa carefully places several slices of pickled hot pepper on the pizza * Igoumenitsa throws on some more toppings, then puts the bread in an oven to bake I'm a writer, Nyssa. Do you like to write? <_Nyssa_> I'm more the scientific type. Science, eh? I was interested in telebiogenesis for awhile, but I couldn't spell it, so I gave it up. * Liam_ grins * _Nyssa_ perks up at the mention of telebiogenesis <_Nyssa_> I believe that telebiogenesis is quite possible for most species with the proper technological augmentation! * _Nyssa_ looks around, hoping the pizza will arrive soon So, Nyssa, who's this Doctor person? <_Nyssa_> He's wonderful... a very learned man, and always knows what is right. Always? That's interesting. I'd like to meet him. And he's a pizza lover, too. Next you'll tell me he loves Venusian aikido too! * Igoumenitsa brings out the finished pizza with a flourish Ah! Here comes the pizza! <_Nyssa_> Oh, yes, and he's very good at it. He should be along any time now. He dropped me off to do some shopping. But he said he'd catch up to me for lunch. Well, we should save him a slice. * ThirdDoc walks into the room * Liam_ notices the eccentric fellow <_Nyssa_> Doctor! Come over here. We've already ordered the pizza! * Liam_ is intrigued * Liam_ slides over in the booth for the Doctor Have a seat, sir! * ThirdDoc looks at Liam, and then looks at the pizza Ahh! Pizza! Wonderful...what kind? * ThirdDoc sits down <_Nyssa_> With everything, Doctor! A pizza with the works, sir! * ThirdDoc opens up the pizza box, and takes a look <_Nyssa_> This looks wonderful! But how do you eat it? They haven't given us any silverware! Well, Nyssa, you pick it up with your hands. No silverware needed! * ThirdDoc closes the pizza box, getting a disparaging look on his face Not up to your standards, sir? No, my good man. Pizza is made with mozzarella cheese, not feta cheese! Only the Silvaxians serve their pizza like that...only they don't call it pizza, they call it...urmm...some unpronounceable thing... * ThirdDoc sritches his chin * _Nyssa_ looks disappointed <_Nyssa_> Then this isn't a pizza? * ThirdDoc sighs Well, I'll give it a shot, man...but remember that next time, you must use mozzarella! Hmm...well, this is a Greek special, Doctor. You don't mind if I call you Doctor, do you? And the Silvaxians? Hmm, they are southerners, right? Yes...you could say that... * ThirdDoc looks at the pizza Hurm...I need a pizza cutter. * Liam_ grins So, Doctor, you're from Surrey too? * ThirdDoc searches around in his pockets and pulls out some weird-looking parts, fiddles with them and builds a futuristic laser pizza cutter in a couple of seconds * ThirdDoc looks at it, presses a button and a small thin red laser comes out Ahh...that will do just fine... * Liam_ is absorbed in the gadget Doctor! How interesting! * Liam_ pulls out a laser pointer from his pocket I have this, but it just annoys. It's the only useful thing it does. * ThirdDoc opens the pizza box and uses the pizza cutter to slice up the pizza. He then takes out a slice and bites into it. Mmmm...different...murph...but still very good... <_Nyssa_> Doctor, why do you suppose they don't know how to make pizza in a pizza parlour? Shouldn't the proprietor know what kind of cheese to use? Why Nyssa, these people have never visited Italy, where they know how to make pizza! My, I remember eating the first pizza ever made...they also used feta...urm...oh... Well, Nyssa, we asked for a specialty. You can use a wide assortment of cheeses. * Igoumenitsa emerges from the kitchen So, you like the pizza, eh? Igo! Some Cokes for my new friends! * Igoumenitsa shrugs Igo, fetch pizza. Igo, fetch Cokes. * Igoumenitsa goes back into the kitchen * ThirdDoc looks at Liam and shakes his hand Sir, you have done a good job. * Liam_ smiles warmly Doctor, would you like a tour of my small island? * Igoumenitsa comes out balancing three glasses of cola Igo! I tip you extra for treating me and my friends so nice! * Igoumenitsa grins widely and winks conspiratorially at Liam * _Nyssa_ asks if they have any diet cola No, miss, I am afraid that our cola comes in one style only. I could offer you some excellent ouzo, however... <_Nyssa_> Do you have any of that flaming cheese? Flaming cheese...miss? * ThirdDoc gives a shocked look at Nyssa My God! You can't have flaming cheese! Do you realize what sort of air pollution that causes? Would you like some pizza fries? * _Nyssa_ stands up and shouts OPA! * Igoumenitsa backs away, wondering if the olives affected her in some odd manner Igo! It's OK...she's...from Barcelona! Barcelona, you say? Yes, that would explain things... Yes, Igo...she speaks English well. She learned it from a book. * Igoumenitsa sets the drinks down on the table and goes back for straws * ThirdDoc takes a cola from Liam Ahh...good man! Splendid! So, Doc, would you like a tour? Yes...I would quite enjoy that. * Liam_ grins It would be my pleasure. You and Nyssa are so friendly! * Igoumenitsa brings out straws and dumps them on the table Thanks, Igo! Sure, Liam, anytime... * Liam_ adjusts his Manchester United cap * Igoumenitsa stations himself behind the till again * Liam_ points to the door This way, Doctor! Hey, you gonna pay or what? * Liam_ runs out the door! * Liam_ runs back in and slaps a 20 pound note on the table Keep the change, Igo! * Liam_ runs back out * Igoumenitsa holds up the note happily * Igoumenitsa frowns But...this is the island of Santorini. In *Greece.* You know, Doc, I'm lucky that there is a currency exchange place down the road, or Igo would kill me! So, where do we go now? Well, Doc, my uncle is away for a month. Would you like to see my house? Yes. Sure! Why not? Let's go. It's right up the road a bit. So Doctor, did you ferry over to the island? * _Nyssa_ is beginning to wilt from the heat * Liam_ pulls a juice box from his coat pocket Here, Nyssa, have some juice. * _Nyssa_ takes the juice gratefully I used...a different kind of transportation to get here. * ThirdDoc grins mischeviously Really, Doc? I didn't peg you as a jetskier! I didn't use a jetski either... * Liam_ is intrigued Well, all that is left is flying... <_Nyssa_> We came in a dimensionally transcendental space craft. * Alatzonisi runs up from the shore, panting I would rather concentrate on getting to your uncle's house. * Liam_ realizes he was being rude * Alatzonisi collapses onto the grass * ThirdDoc glares at Nyssa and whacks his forehead Nyssa, why don't you tell them that we came from Bellvue while you are at it? Alatzonisi, old chap! How goes it? * Alatzonisi does not answer, only sprawls out further on the grass, gasping for breath * Liam_ leans over Alatzonisi Not too good, I guess, eh? * Liam_ realizes what Nyssa said Space craft? Coolness! If you must know...yes...Nyssa is telling the truth. I know it sounds quite unbelievable. * Alatzonisi struggles up onto his knees * Alatzonisi speaks very little English I see...a, er... * Alatzonisi makes a flying motion with his hands On the, er...shore! Yes, the shore! * Alatzonisi points toward the beach, frightened What it is it, old chap? I think Alat drank too much ouzo this afternoon... * Alatzonisi looks at the Doctor It is... * Alatzonisi makes a flying motion with his hands again * Liam_ pulls a yoyo out of his pocket and makes it sleep OK, old chap...show us. * Alatzonisi shakes his head No, I....I don't go back! We must investigate! Let's go! Nyssa, you look like you're going to have heat stroke in all that velvet! Besides, the nice beach might cool you off, Nyssa. Nyssa, if you want, a friend of mine rents umbrellas on the beach! * Alatzonisi runs off :calling: Ice cream, hot dogs... * _Nyssa_ looks for a place to sit down and cool off Over here, mister vendor! Yes...one vanilla ice cream for my companion here. k'hallow * ThirdDoc fidgets around in his pockets and pulls out a coin Yes, and send one over to the lady in velvet too! So you want a vanilla ice, and what else? No hot dogs for me, old bean, they are made of cow ears! * Liam_ turns to the Doctor So, shall we investigate, Doc? Yes...we must. It looks important...let's go. You can have your ice cream while we are walking to the beach. * _Nyssa_ gets up and trudges after the Doctor * ThirdDoc walks towards the beach * Liam_ looks at Nyssa * ThirdDoc casually licks his ice cream No, Nyssa, you relax in the shade...have an ice cream! * _Nyssa_ has a problem with the ice cream melting and leaving sticky blobs on her velvet jacket <_Nyssa_> Eeewwwww! * Liam_ chuckles at Nyssa, and elbows the Doctor to look too * Anton walks off into the distence * ThirdDoc snickers at Nyssa Don't worry, Nyssa. The washing machine in the TARDIS should take those out. So, Doc, you get to travel around? I'd love to do that. It's so dull here... :smirking: You could say that... Someday I'll go to university. Maybe I could travel after that. * Liam_ smiles sadly * Folegandros closes up his shop for the lunch break and wanders over to the cliff above the seashore * Folegandros peers around, looking for whatever was glinting a while ago So, let's go see what this thing is that scared the beejeebers out of whoever it was back there? Sounds like a plan, Doc! * ThirdDoc trudges towards the beach * Folegandros hangs over the edge of the cliff so he can see better Aren't you hot in all those frillies? * _Nyssa_ nods No. Not really. I'm used to this. <_Nyssa_> Doctor, maybe I should go back to the TARDIS where the air conditioning is turned on high. Nyssa, don't be foolish! * Liam_ spots something glistening off a bit on the beach and ponts it out to the Doctor * ThirdDoc looks at it Wow...good man! Let's go, shall we? [cancelled on 24 August 1996 due to lack of interest *sniffle*]