09 November 1996 - ep 1 and part of ep 2 16 November 1996 - rest of ep 2 14 December 1996 - eps 3 and 4 Doctor Who - The Female of the Species starring the eighth Doctor, Ace and Chang Lee BGhoti (ghoti42@ix.netcom.com) - OfficerPoisson DrGrace (judiang@ix.netcom.com) - The_Eighth_Doctor ElsaF (elsaf@pipeline.com) - Dr_Medlin EvaJ (ejacobus@marinara.mit.edu) - Ziggy_Stardust IsraelBeta (israel@bridge.net) - BrigBambera Haem (haem@lys.vnet.net) - TrevorF, Cab_Driver, LolitaZ, MsWinters, Bambera, Doc8 MegL (lahey@pld.com) - Ace_McS, TARDIS talavera (talavera@gate.net) - Chang_Lee TheDrake (godzilla@aug.com) - Aspard_ trinalin (trinalin@infinet.com) - Shirley_Barnabas, MEANWHILE, dead_body, Guard, Mr_Stewart, Miss_Winters, Nitro9, Aspard, Bigger_Guards, Mrs_Thatcher, Barnabas_Corporation _chrissy (chrissy@aug.com) - Sade_Cummings ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::title music:: * The_Eighth_Doctor tinkers under the TARDIS console What are you doing, Doctor? What are you up to, Professor? Well...I...oooph. * The_Eighth_Doctor rises Well, that's it then. We have a new chameleon circuit! Wicked! What's that, Doctor? Yes, we can try out other things besides the police box...very tiresome. Where'd you pinch it from, anyway? * The_Eighth_Doctor frowns at Ace * Ace_McS smirks back I *didn't* pinch it...I borrowed it... * The_Eighth_Doctor walks around console looking self satisfied * Chang_Lee smiles a bit bewilderedly * The_Eighth_Doctor fusses with dials Yes, everything is coming along just fine...where to now? Don't you know, Doctor? Of course not. * The_Eighth_Doctor grins * TARDIS shakes and lands ::Earth, late 20th century, is the destination:: * Ace_McS falls on her butt * The_Eighth_Doctor grabs the console * Chang_Lee grabs the coatrack Professor!!! What happened! Well, we appear to be in late twentieth-century Earth... * Ace_McS goes to the console and opens the viewer Looks like Earth to me too, Professor. What time and place, though? ***** * MEANWHILE at the Barnabas Corporation... Trevor, get your cute little butt in here. * Shirley_Barnabas waits by her office door for her secretary * TrevorF walks over to Shirley, his footsteps barely audible on the wooden floor Yes ma'am. I have a task for you. Anything you wish, ma'am. Take sample B-375 to the lab and have them start testing on the subjects. Of course, ma'am. * Shirley_Barnabas gives Trevor a bottle of facial cream * TrevorF takes the bottle Anything more? Yes, make sure that you tell no one about this, apart from Dr. Medlin. Naturally, ma'am. * TrevorF turns and leaves, bottle in hand * Shirley_Barnabas goes into her office and sits at her desk * Shirley_Barnabas switches on her computer and reads the latest test results for the company's newest men's cologne This will be perfect! * Shirley_Barnabas smiles to herself ***** Where are we, Doctor? This looks like an alley, Professor. * Chang_Lee straightens the coatrack, and pockets some coins from one of the coats * The_Eighth_Doctor flips a switch, opening the doors Well, let's have a look. * Ace_McS grabs her backpack and jacket * The_Eighth_Doctor turns and exits the TARDIS * Chang_Lee follows the Doctor * Ace_McS follows * The_Eighth_Doctor pauses in the doors and looks out * The_Eighth_Doctor grins at Chang I think we have been here before. * The_Eighth_Doctor looks across at the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance Really? When were you here? * Chang_Lee smiles You may be right, Doctor. Ooo, the Golden Gate Bridge! * The_Eighth_Doctor wanders along the pier What year is it, Doctor? Am I going to meet myself, or something? * Ace_McS wanders behind the Doctor Chang might have a point, Professor. * The_Eighth_Doctor shakes his head No...not likely, I think... * Chang_Lee runs about, seeing the sites...smelling the...smells? * dead_body is lying not too far from where Chang is standing This is 1996. Chang...did you spend time down here? Sometimes, Doctor...not often. Professor, I'm starved! Lets go find someplace to eat. Chang, know anywhere good to go eat? * The_Eighth_Doctor points at some stalls * dead_body is just out of sight * dead_body is within smell range DOCTOR! * Chang_Lee points in horror * The_Eighth_Doctor looks Oh dear. Look...a stiff! * The_Eighth_Doctor approaches the body and studies it * dead_body is a male vagrant * Ace_McS bends over and inpects The bloke looks dead to me, Professor. * dead_body is dirty all over except for his face Seems to be homeless, but something strange here. * The_Eighth_Doctor raises an eyebrow Why do you say that, Doctor? * Chang_Lee holds his nose What is that awful smell...is he wearing Hai Karate or something? * The_Eighth_Doctor sniffs Yes, very distinctive. Ooo, you're right, Chang. * Chang_Lee gags * The_Eighth_Doctor glances around I think we should flag a constable. <_Ace_McS_> Professor, are you sure? Every time we do things like that, we end up in trouble. Why don't we just split and go get dinner? Trouble? Now, Ace...shouldn't take too long. <_Ace_McS_> OK. * The_Eighth_Doctor looks at Ace sadly Dinner? Well, I was a bit hungry earlier. But I can skip it. * The_Eighth_Doctor wanders around the corner looking for a cop * Chang_Lee hurries after, with only a quick glance over his shoulder at the body ***** * MEANWHILE at the Barnabas Laboratories * Dr_Medlin mixes up face creams * TrevorF walks into the laboratory This one should do the job...twice as strong as the last batch. Dr Medlin, I have sample B-375 for you, from Ms Barnabas. * TrevorF offers the bottle of facial cream * Dr_Medlin takes the sample * Dr_Medlin sniffs the sample Ms Barnabas would like you to start testing this on the subjects as soon as possible. Do you require more? No, this should be sufficient. I just hope then next batch of subjects is in better condition. We can't really tell the effects of the formula if they die of malnutrition before the test is over. I'll talk to Ms Barnabas about increasing the nutrient supply of the capsules. Would you have time to write up a new formula for them? * Dr_Medlin looks around Have someone bring in the next subject, Trevor? Yes, sir. * TrevorF walks out of the laboratory and through several hallways until he arrives at an area of holding cells * Guard stands by the door * TrevorF looks at the guard's nametag Mr Short, the lab requires a new subject. * Guard gets out Ziggy * ZiggyStardust puts down the microphone and decides it's time for a facial My good man, I do hope this is an appointment with my beautician. * Guard feels sad for this poor deluded vagrant who thinks he's Ziggy Stardust He was such a good singer. * ZiggyStardust smooths out his leopard-print spandex * TrevorF snaps a pair of hi-tech restraints onto the test subject and leads him back to the lab * Dr_Medlin taps her foot back in the lab * TrevorF arrives at the lab and hands the test subject over to Dr Medlin * ZiggyStardust is really tripping on this facial * Dr_Medlin looks over the subject Is he satisfactory, Doctor? * ZiggyStardust is not satisfactory, but astounding * Dr_Medlin speaks into a tape recorder Subject is a middle-aged male, somewhat undernourished. * Dr_Medlin takes out the new sample Restrain the subject. * TrevorF stands back to watch * Shirley_Barnabas watches all this through video cameras * Dr_Medlin approaches the restrained subject * ZiggyStardust digs the restraints - it was a cool cat who came up with this pad * Dr_Medlin puts a blood pressure cuff on the subject * Shirley_Barnabas hopes that this test isn't a failure like the others have been Now, this won't hurt. Just relax. * Dr_Medlin smears some of the sample on the subject's face * ZiggyStardust relaxes and enjoys the facial After 30 seconds we observe a slight flush on the subject's epidermis. That was slightly quicker than the last, if I'm not mistaken. Whoa, that stuff's alive man. What's in it? You could sell that in the clubs in no time... At one minute, there has been an elevation of blood pressure... just like in the previous tests. This is decidedly cool, my sisters. * Dr_Medlin checks a cardiac monitor Pulse is elevated...blood pressure still rising. I'm really grooving to this, babies. This is the best I've scored all week! This one is surprisingly talkative. He hasn't screamed once. This subject is in slightly better condition than the previous ones. * ZiggyStardust's eyes glaze over Ah, just what I expected... a serotonin spike, at 90 seconds. * Dr_Medlin scribbles something in a notebook * Shirley_Barnabas curses at the screen There's a Starman waiting in the sky, and he'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds... WAAAHOOOOOOO! * TrevorF flinches There, the delirium is starting. I'm looking forward to contraction of the vocal chords, myself... * ZiggyStardust begins to choke * Dr_Medlin writes something else in her notebook * ZiggyStardust starts to hallucinate from lack of oxygen I expect the convulsions will start soon. Way-hey - pig... light...ggfhfdgs. Shall I add an extra restraint, Doctor? * ZiggyStardust smiles a blissed-out smile as his limbs start to thrash As you've said, this one is in better condition than the others have been. Respiration declining, paralysis of the speech centers imminent. * ZiggyStardust gazes up at Dr. Medlin with blank eyes * Shirley_Barnabas turns off the video and puts her hands to her face Heart rate has reached 180. They...say...best s***...is...one...gets you... * ZiggyStardust drools a little * ZiggyStardust lurches forward in the chair Heart rate 240, cardiac arrest imminent. * Shirley_Barnabas picks up the phone and speed dials Trevor's number * TrevorF hears his cellular phone ringing and backs out of the room * ZiggyStardust gags and passes out, hallucinating to the end * Dr_Medlin switches off the monitor * TrevorF punches the phone on Yes? When he's dead, clean him off and dump him where you found him. I shall, ma'am. Total respiratory collapse at 4 minutes 20 seconds. Shame that the cologne works fine, but the facial cream doesn't. It's too fast. I'm sorry about that, ma'am. But we have plenty of time - not to worry. The basic effect is correct. Take pleasure in that. Pleasure? Heh. Well, tell Dr. Medlin she did a fine job, and have her try diluting B-375 even more. I'll tell her. * Shirley_Barnabas hangs up * TrevorF closes up the phone and re-enters the lab * Dr_Medlin looks at Ziggy in disgust Maybe if we raised the free radical concentration. Ms Barnabas suggests diluting the B-375 to slow down the rate of reaction. * ZiggyStardust's dead body stares up at Medlin with a cockeyed evil twinkle I need to take care of this. Trevor, sweetie, please get rid of this thing. * TrevorF un-restrains the corpse and carries it out of the room ***** * The_Eighth_Doctor runs around the corner and sees a cop * OfficerPoisson almost collides with a strangely dressed man Oh there... Officer! * Chang_Lee runs into the back of the Doctor * Ace_McS snickers at Chang Lee Yes, officer, we have a problem... * OfficerPoisson frowns at the stranger What sort of problem? There is a vagrant around the corner with magnificent skin, but unfortunately he's dead. And the problem is...? The_Eighth_Doctor> Well... he... is... *dead!* I suppose you should take me to him. * The_Eighth_Doctor glances at Ace and Chang and leads the cop to the body * Ace_McS follows * Chang_Lee hangs back * Ace_McS is hanging back also There he is, officer. * OfficerPoisson looks down at the body Him then? * The_Eighth_Doctor stares at the officer Right. Him. Yes, only body I can see. * OfficerPoisson steps closer to examine the body * OfficerPoisson is almost overcome by the fumes * OfficerPoisson sneezes And he seems to be wearing a quite distinctive cologne * Chang_Lee mutters to himself "Hai Karate for sure." More like Ripple, young man. * The_Eighth_Doctor sighs Sure he's not just passed-out drunk? Well, unless blue is his natural color. * Ace_McS walks forward Officer, he's rather stiff. * OfficerPoisson prods the body with the toe of his boot I'll call an ambulance. Yes...very good. He didn't take any of your money, did he? No, he was always dead. [a very boring child, he was] * The_Eighth_Doctor glances at Ace and Chang * Chang_Lee wanders to the end of the alley * Chang_Lee glances around, and watches the traffic for a while I think we have done our duty. Good, now let's go eat! Chang, know any place with good food? * The_Eighth_Doctor looks strangely at Ace Food... yes... hmmm...Chinese OK? Sure! * The_Eighth_Doctor smiles * The_Eighth_Doctor shakes head in resignation Just a block or two south. Lead on then, Chang. * The_Eighth_Doctor glances back at the the cop and the body * OfficerPoisson watches the trio wander off * OfficerPoisson looks at the body again * TrevorF drives by in a dark blue van Hmm. His face *is* clean... * TrevorF turns into an alley * OfficerPoisson shrugs and walks away That was rather curious... Who's that with the cop? * Chang_Lee notices a dark blue van, but thinks nothing of it...for now * The_Eighth_Doctor catches a glimpse of the van * _Ace_McS_ glimpses the van too Dead vagrant...clean face...reeking of some cologne...very curious. * The_Eighth_Doctor stops in his tracks and considers returning to the body * TrevorF turns out of the alley and drives back up the street * Ace_McS suddenly feels sick * The_Eighth_Doctor sees the van leave Hmmmm... Professor, I'm not feeling too good. * Chang_Lee walks back toward Ace and the Doctor * The_Eighth_Doctor is distracted What? Hmmm? * Ace_McS sits down I feel really awful. * The_Eighth_Doctor turns to Ace Ace, what is the matter? * The_Eighth_Doctor kneels beside her * Chang_Lee looks concerned I'm not sure... I was hungry a moment ago, now I'm feeling like I can't keep anything down. Well, dead bodies can do that to you. Probably a delayed reaction. * Chang_Lee catches a whiff of something...familiar Do you smell something, Doctor? Smell? * Chang_Lee falls to his knees ::ending credits for first episode:: * The_Eighth_Doctor sniffs the air and sniffs Ace It smells like...the cologne on the vagrant. * Ace_McS throws up on Chang I feel better now. * Chang_Lee returns the favor * The_Eighth_Doctor sits back, avoiding the splash * The_Eighth_Doctor smirks * The_Eighth_Doctor rises to his feet Now that was even curiouser. I think we should go back to the scene of the crime... Maybe I should just stay here for a bit. Yes fine... I want to check on something. * The_Eighth_Doctor ambles back in the direction of the dead body * Chang_Lee wanders off, looking for a rag * Ace_McS notices the blue van * The_Eighth_Doctor walks, muttering to himself * Chang_Lee is oblivious * Ace_McS gets up and walks toward it The cologne...hmmm...very curious. Chang, come look at this! * TrevorF drives the blue van down a side street, watching the boy and his friend What? * TrevorF has been cruising the area looking for more test subjects * The_Eighth_Doctor passes the alley and glances in Isn't that the van we saw earlier? * Chang_Lee starts towards Ace Let's go check it out. * Ace_McS goes with Chang Lee down the alley * TrevorF stops the van as Ace and Chang draw near * TrevorF gets out and walks over to the pair * The_Eighth_Doctor does a double take as he spots a human leg sticking out from behind a garbage bin Hi mate, what you doing? Excuse me, but I'm looking for Rose Street - would either of you have any idea where I could find it? * TrevorF pulls out a canister of cologne and spritzes it at Ace and Chang whaaa? Ugh! * The_Eighth_Doctor moves closer to observe a second dead body in leopard spandex * Chang_Lee coughs * Ace_McS suddenly wants a Big Mac * Ace_McS sees Chang's distress * Ace_McS gets Chang and gets out of there! * Chang_Lee staggers a few steps * TrevorF spritzes Ace again * The_Eighth_Doctor bends down to observe and smells a familiar smell * TrevorF grabs hold of Chang and tries to pull him back * Ace_McS kicks him where it counts * TrevorF collapses * Chang_Lee keels over into a puddle of woooh-tuh * Ace_McS grabs Chang again and pulls on him * Ace_McS drags Chang out of the alley * Chang_Lee rises, and staggers with Ace * TrevorF growls angrily * The_Eighth_Doctor checks for pockets and sees none Doctor, help!!! * TrevorF staggers back into the van and drives away as best he can * OfficerPoisson is hit by the escaping van * OfficerPoisson's body bounces up against the wall of the alley and slides to the ground * The_Eighth_Doctor hears voices yelling, then jumps up and runs * Ace_McS stumbles up to the Doctor with Chang What are you doing, Doctor? *hack, hack* Ace! Chang! What happened? * Chang_Lee chokes a bit, and collapses onto his hands and knees What is this? More nausea? Some maniac just spritzed us. Spritzed you? Sprayed us. * OfficerPoisson sees three blurry shapes in the alley I'm having a hard time breathing. * OfficerPoisson begins to drag himself toward them It's that horrid cologne. Blecch. * Chang_Lee gasps v-v-v-an... Oh dear, I suppose you shouldnt get a whiff of the other body in the alley. * _Ace_McS_ has a hacking spell * OfficerPoisson coughs and gurgles Van? Van...yes...I saw a van! * OfficerPoisson tries to reach out for the figures, but collapses to the pavement * The_Eighth_Doctor glances up the alley and sees the cop drop * OfficerPoisson breathes out heavily Rassilon! * The_Eighth_Doctor runs up to the cop * OfficerPoisson foams from the mouth Wrestle who, Doctor? * Chang_Lee gags again * The_Eighth_Doctor holds the cop up a bit Officer... * OfficerPoisson reeks of the cologne * The_Eighth_Doctor jerks back from the overpowering smell * The_Eighth_Doctor waits for any dying words * OfficerPoisson is quite thoroughly, utterly undeniably, dead * The_Eighth_Doctor lets the dead cop drop back * The_Eighth_Doctor returns to Chang and Ace Well, three deaths in one day... somebody has been very busy. * The_Eighth_Doctor is concerned for Ace and Chang How are you now? Maybe we should head back to the TARDIS for aid. ::the trio return to the time-space machine:: * Chang_Lee changes his shoes * Ace_McS sits in chair and tries to regroup Doctor, what's going on?! * The_Eighth_Doctor looks down at Ace and purses his lips I'm not quite sure, Ace...feeling better? I'm sorry, Professor, I just felt really ill and couldn't stop myself. * Chang_Lee laces up a pair of shoes from the TARDIS stores * Ace_McS takes deep breaths * The_Eighth_Doctor pats Ace's shoulder I'm going to the infirmary and get something. Yes...yes... * Ace_McS gets up and goes to get some dramamine or something * The_Eighth_Doctor walks around the console, deep in thought * Ace_McS returns with a glass of water Hmm, 3 bodies...deadly cologne. Vagrant with a very clean face... * Chang_Lee gargles with Cyberine (tm) brand mouthwash * Ace_McS sighs and sits down A blue van...van...yes...the VAN! Professor, are we going to do something about this? * Chang_Lee returns to the control room after cleaning up * Ace_McS looks over at Chang and smiles What was that smell, Doctor? Ace...Lee...the van...what were the words on the van? * The_Eighth_Doctor runs his fingers through his hair [oh no! The wig came off!] Van...I remember a van...just before Ace... It had some logo on it, Professor. * Chang_Lee sits heavily in the corner It said...something about...Barn...Burn...something. Chang, you're a local, have you seen it before? * The_Eighth_Doctor stops pacing and looks at Lee Barns and buses. Something like that... It kind of reminded me of vampires, which is strange... Vampires? V-v-v-ampires? Yes, but I can't place why. Something similar to an old TV show. Hum... * Ace_McS thinks * The_Eighth_Doctor paces a bit more TV...TV show? The TV type, Chang? A little. * The_Eighth_Doctor makes a tsk tsk sound and resumes pacing You know, the type of show you watch late night on the telly when your mum's out. * Ace_McS gives off a wicked grin Baywatch? Well this is getting this nowhere...people who hit and run and disappear like shadows... Dark Shadows!!! That's the show, Professor! Dark Shadows? Dark Shadows! Yes...now what about it? I think one of the main characters had a similar name. Barnabas? * The_Eighth_Doctor looks at Ace and nervously paces while she thinks yes, Barnabas...think he was a main character. Anyway, that's the name on the side of the van. Barnabas! Barnabas! Yes...on the side of the van! Barnabas...yes...that could be it... * The_Eighth_Doctor throws a lever and opens the TARDIS doors That shouldn't be hard to look up in a phonebook, should it? * Ace_McS looks over at Chang * The_Eighth_Doctor is already out the door * Ace_McS then sees the Doc's on the move and gets her backpack * Ace_McS runs after him Chang!!! Hurry up!!!! I'm coming, I'm coming! * Chang_Lee sniffs the air tentatively * The_Eighth_Doctor looks up and down the pier and sees a phone booth * Ace_McS skids to a halt behind the Doctor * The_Eighth_Doctor races down to the booth and pick up a half-torn book on a chain * Chang_Lee follows * Ace_McS glances over his sholder This book is torn in half. * The_Eighth_Doctor paws through the ripped pages Is it the first or second half of the alphabet? * Ace_McS scans the area for other phones It's across the pages, Ace. * Ace_McS looks Wait! * Ace_McS waits * The_Eighth_Doctor points to the "Bar" entries AHA! Here we are...The Barnabas Corporation. Lee, where is this? * Ace_McS looks at Chang A few miles from here, Doctor, just north of town. Well, let's get started. * The_Eighth_Doctor sets out across the dock * Ace_McS follows * Chang_Lee looks around, and follows ***** * Shirley_Barnabas reads out the latest results This is still not acceptable. * Shirley_Barnabas pushes her intercom button Trevor - I need you now. * TrevorF walks into the room, limping slightly, footfalls still not making a sound Yes, ma'am? I think we have to scrap the facial cream for now. Of course, Ms Barnabas. May I ask why? The formula just doesn't work with the other ingredients. The victim dies too soon. I'm sorry to hear it. Shall I tell Dr Medlin? Yes, tell her. We need to be sure that no one can suspect our product. * TrevorF nods Will there be anything else? Yes - how well have you been disposing of the bodies? I want to be sure that no one can trace these vagrants back to us. I have been doing as you requested, ma'am, and dropping them off on Rose Street. The alley is hardly frequented, except by the rats and myself. * Shirley_Barnabas looks up and finally notices a bruise on Trevor's face Perhaps a gang now and again... What happened to you? :snarling: It was a girl...she attacked me. It's nothing serious. A girl? Yes, ma'am. I was attempting to procure another test subject. And I take it that you did not succeed. No ma'am, I did not. The girl helped the subject to escape. Trevor - should I know about this girl? * Shirley_Barnabas smiles dangerously at Trevor * TrevorF shrugs There was nothing particularly noteworthy about her, Ms Barnabas. Aside from... Yes? She did have a slight reaction to the cologne. WHAT? You must be mistaken. * Shirley_Barnabas shakes her head I don't believe so, Ms Barnabas. She was definitely affected. :muttering: Not enough to leave me alone, though... No - perhaps this was a transvestite. They are not unheard of. Entirely possible, ma'am. That would also explain why you could be beaten by a girl. * TrevorF turns red I was not *beaten* by her. Merely...put off. For the time. * Shirley_Barnabas thinks of this new turn of events Yes, well, you are excused. * TrevorF nods and softly limps out Have that cheek of yours seen to. Yes, ma'am. I'll mention it to Dr Medlin. * Shirley_Barnabas goes to her computer A female? Affected by the cologne? Wait! * Shirley_Barnabas goes to the door Trevor! * TrevorF turns and walks back to Shirley Yes, ma'am? Which version of the cologne did you use on her? I believe it was B-188, ma'am. An early version. The fast acting one, right? Yes ma'am, I believe so. We wanted to incapacitate the subjects as soon as possible. Hmmm...well, try to avoid using it in future. * TrevorF tilts his head and looks at Shirley The less we draw attention to ourselves, the better. Which version shall I substitute? As an instant weapon? There is none. Take a gun with a silencer with you in future. You know how to use one, don't you? * TrevorF blinks Well, yes, ma'am, of course. But how am I to incapacitate the subjects for testing? Use chloroform, like always. * TrevorF breaks out into a slow grin Chloroform...yes...that has a certain appeal. Good boy. Now go and have yourself looked after. * Shirley_Barnabas pats him on the rear as he leaves * TrevorF leaves, feeling much better ***** * The_Eighth_Doctor quickly runs up a steep street Oi! Doctor...couldn't you have found us better transportation! * The_Eighth_Doctor grins back at Ace Walking is good for...very bracing. Your legs are too long. I'm really getting to old for this! And we're not walking, we're running. ::pant, pant:: * The_Eighth_Doctor notices Ace and Lee are out of breath and stops You two are much too young to be so out of shape... And you're from Gallifrey, a planet with higher gravity! * Ace_McS sees a trolley coming Doctor, let's catch that! * The_Eighth_Doctor sees the trolley and nods Fine...if you like. * Ace_McS follows the Doctor and gets on the trolley * Chang_Lee boards the trolley We have cabs, you know. * The_Eighth_Doctor looks to the trolley A cab! Yes...that would be better. * Ace_McS waits to see what the Professor is up to * The_Eighth_Doctor hails a cab * The_Eighth_Doctor watches the cab whiz by Professor, make up your mind? * The_Eighth_Doctor sees another cab careen into sight and steps out in front of it * The_Eighth_Doctor watches as the cab screeches to a halt a foot from him Ace, Lee, come along. Love your style, Doc. * Ace_McS winks at the Doctor * The_Eighth_Doctor grins at Ace 323 Nob Hill, my good man. * Ace_McS enjoys being between two guys like the Doctor and Chang :) So, Professor, do we have a plan? * The_Eighth_Doctor stares at Ace A plan... * Chang_Lee rolls his eyes Anything, Professor... Yes...yes...a plan...well...actually no. * Ace_McS knows that look and shakes her head * Ace_McS smiles * Ace_McS takes the Doc's arm and lays her head on his sholder You'll think of something. So, what do you think's going on? * The_Eighth_Doctor grins and cocks an eyebrow Well, it seems this Barnabas Corporation is mixed up in some nefarious business. With a rather lethal cologne, I might add. * The_Eighth_Doctor grins at Ace Ah...here we are. Why do you think they are messing with this cologne? * Chang_Lee fights nausea as he remembers the smell * Ace_McS gets out of the cab with Doctor and Chang Lee Ace, that I can't say. * The_Eighth_Doctor looks up at the impressive modern building * Chang_Lee sniffs the air * Ace_McS checks her backpack and takes inventory on the nitro-9 That'll be five bucks. * The_Eighth_Doctor turns Yes, pay the man. Pay? * Chang_Lee looks blankly You gonna stand there and sniff the air or are you gonna give me my fare? * The_Eighth_Doctor glances at Ace * Ace_McS whispers to the Doctor I don't have US money. Check your pockets. * Cab_Driver holds out his hand expectantly * Chang_Lee grumbles * The_Eighth_Doctor nods and checks his pockets * Ace_McS holds out her hand to take stuff from the Doctor's pockets * The_Eighth_Doctor pulls out a UK fiver * Chang_Lee produces some cash from his pocket * The_Eighth_Doctor hands the note to the cabbie What? I can't take this stuff! * Cab_Driver shoves it back at the Doctor What is that, Monopoly money? Let me check my pockets. ummm...$3, and a few coins. I think that is negotiable international currency. I like what he's got better. * Cab_Driver takes the money from Chang * Cab_Driver counts it out and nods, satisfied. hey! * The_Eighth_Doctor stands impatiently and pockets the note * Ace_McS didn't find anything :surly: Thank you very much and have a nice day. * Cab_Driver drives off, leaving the TARDIS trio stranded in front of the imposing building * Chang_Lee mutters something in Chinese :sarcastic: This looks great. * Chang_Lee turns to face the Doctor * The_Eighth_Doctor moves towards the entrance and spies a small perfume shoppe off to one side * Ace_McS follows * Chang_Lee follows The Barnabas Perfumery...hmmm. * The_Eighth_Doctor enters the shop and looks around * Ace_McS wrinkles her nose Perfume shop - ekk. * The_Eighth_Doctor whispers to Ace I wonder if they have that cologne here? * Chang_Lee gets to the door, but refuses to go in * LolitaZ walks out from a back room * Ace_McS goes up to the clerk * LolitaZ is very ditzy Hi, may I help ya? * Chang_Lee spots Lolita, and enters * LolitaZ smiles dazzlingly at Chang * Chang_Lee smiles back Ma'am... * The_Eighth_Doctor grins at the shop girl Yes...I think you can. Yes, do you have any cologne? * LolitaZ is doused in three different kinds of Barnabas perfume Yeah, we got tons of it! Right along that wall there. * Mr_Stewart is looking at a long line of colognes * LolitaZ points to a wall loaded with racks of perfume Right next to that fellow over there. Thanks mate. * LolitaZ frowns - "mate"? * Ace_McS goes over and looks * The_Eighth_Doctor leans closer to the girl and sniffs her * LolitaZ giggles Oh, stop it! Sorry, I was trying to place a particular scent. Which one do ya like? The sweet one, the floral one, or the musk? I like Jasmine Night, personally. * The_Eighth_Doctor grins Well, they are all interesting, but I was looking for something more...masculine. Men's colognes are in the far corner. * LolitaZ points * Chang_Lee slides up beside the Doctor * The_Eighth_Doctor looks at the corner where many bottles are shelved Ahh, well. Could you help me out please? Sure! * The_Eighth_Doctor guides the girl to the cologne * LolitaZ sways over to the cologne corner * LolitaZ takes one down This one is very popular among our male clients. Well...er...I'm sorry, what is your name? I'm Lolita. Lolita Zurken. * LolitaZ smiles again * The_Eighth_Doctor grins * Mr_Stewart isn't sure he knows which brand ladies prefer * Mr_Stewart notices a woman next to him Excuse me, miss, but do you have a favorite? Not really. I'm looking for something for my friend over there. * Ace_McS points to the Doctor * Mr_Stewart takes up a Barnabas brand perfume This one is the most popular one, I hear. What do you find to be a good one? * Mr_Stewart takes off the lid and prepares to spray some on his wrist for the woman to smell * Ace_McS sniffs That's interesting... * Mr_Stewart sniffs it too A bit musky. Hmmmm. You don't think it's me? Naw. * Mr_Stewart gets another Barnabas Cologne down Well, we'll try this one. * Ace_McS sneezes Excuse me! * Chang_Lee watches Lolita closely, and is not paying attention to Mr Stewart Doctor...could you come over here? Lolita...a very nice name...well, Lolita. I was looking for something musky. * Mr_Stewart likes the smell and puts some one Oh, you won't like this one, then. It's more woodsy. * LolitaZ puts it back Professor! * LolitaZ pulls down another Now, THIS one... * The_Eighth_Doctor looks up at Ace * Ace_McS goes over to the Doctor * Ace_McS whispers * LolitaZ looks disturbed Excuse me a moment. Doctor...this musk I've been trying...it's very similar to the stuff I smelled earlier. * The_Eighth_Doctor takes a whiff Not the same, but close. Yes...it is... * LolitaZ puts the cologne back and crosses to the other, enclosed room behind the desk * Ace_McS sniffles And I seem to be allergic to it. * Chang_Lee wanders toward the Doctor, via the desk * The_Eighth_Doctor takes the bottle and looks at the label * Mr_Stewart goes to the counter with the Barnabas cologne * LolitaZ comes back, looking satisfied * Mr_Stewart rings the bell * LolitaZ frowns and looks over at Mr Stewart * LolitaZ glances at Ace, then goes over to the counter to ring up Mr Stewart's purchase * The_Eighth_Doctor moves over to Lolita What is this exactly? :like an operator: Just a moment, please. * LolitaZ taps away at the cash register * LolitaZ gives Mr Stewart a receipt * The_Eighth_Doctor approaches Lolita and places the bottle by the register * Mr_Stewart takes his cologne and leaves Oh, are you gonna buy that? * The_Eighth_Doctor glances back at the enclosed room * LolitaZ fumbles around in a drawer behind the counter * Ace_McS thinks Lolita's acting strangely * LolitaZ's fingers close around a spray bottle of cologne * LolitaZ brings it out Well...I haven't decided quite yet. * Ace_McS fingers her backpack I think you might like this fragrance. * LolitaZ smiles wickedly and starts to depress the atomizer * The_Eighth_Doctor turns fully around to Lolita Oi! What are you doing!! * LolitaZ sprays the Doctor full in the face with the perfume * Ace_McS runs toward the Doctor * LolitaZ directs the spray at Ace * Chang_Lee looks surprised Chang, Professor!!! * The_Eighth_Doctor yells and paws his eyes * LolitaZ sprays Chang, too That's the same stuff! * Ace_McS grabs Lolita What are you doing!! ack! Help! * LolitaZ drops the perfume bottle * Chang_Lee coughs * LolitaZ struggles * Ace_McS is wrestling with Lolita * The_Eighth_Doctor makes moaning noises and peeks through his fingers at Ace * LolitaZ drags Ace over the counter What'd you do that for!!! You're that girl, aren't you! * Chang_Lee tries to wrestle with Lolita, too * Chang_Lee is coughing a bit, though * Ace_McS knocks the bottle off Yeah, but what are you? * LolitaZ can't hold her own against Chang and Ace and topples to the ground * The_Eighth_Doctor quickly moves to the enclosed room * Ace_McS untangles herself and looks for the Doctor * Ace_McS spies him going into the enclosed room and follows * LolitaZ grapples with Lee Chang, keep here where she is uuhhh...OK. * Chang_Lee is fighting hard, and is losing * The_Eighth_Doctor enters the room and looks at its bareness * Guards race into the store * TrevorF comes in after the guards and smiles smugly * Guards point guns at the Doctor, Ace, and Chang Curious... nothing in here but another door...leading where? * Ace_McS catches up with the Doctor Professor? * TrevorF chuckles and motions at Chang to release Lolita * Ace_McS taps his shoulder * The_Eighth_Doctor turns around and sees the guards Let me up! * Chang_Lee stops fighting * Chang_Lee gets up slowly * LolitaZ pushes away from him and stands up, getting the perfume bottle as she rises Guns? That is not really necessary. * The_Eighth_Doctor sees Trevor Thank you for alerting us to their presence, Lolita. I'll take this one. * TrevorF grabs Lee's arm And I assume you are the manager? I'm not, no. But you'll meet her soon enough. I am anxious to meet her, in fact. * Guards stand around looking menacing * Chang_Lee looks menaced Bring them. * TrevorF escorts Lee out Where are you taking us? You two will go to meet Ms Barnabas. This one is headed for the testing room. * Chang_Lee looks bewildered * Guards follow the crowd * TrevorF claps a chloroform pad over Lee's face Testing room? * Ace_McS struggles * The_Eighth_Doctor glances worriedly at Lee * LolitaZ dusts herself off and walks into the back room * Chang_Lee struggles * Chang_Lee passes out Professor!?! * Guards try to knock out Ace And what tests do you run, if I may ask? * TrevorF ignores the Doctor, and drags Lee off through a door * Ace_McS quits struggling * Guards escort the Doctor and Ace to the Head Office ***** * Shirley_Barnabas is in her office and her intercom beeps Yes? * Miss_Winters' voice is heard over the intercom There are two people here to see you. Mr. Trevor sent them over. Hmmmmm. * Shirley_Barnabas looks in a video display to see the guards and their prisoner This must be the girl who is allergic. She's no transvestite. * Shirley_Barnabas speaks into the intercom Send the girl to Dr. Medlin. I want her to test this girl to find out why she is allergic to the cologne. I suppose I can speak with the man before we kill him. * Miss_Winters tells the guards what to do * Ace_McS struggles with the guards * Miss_Winters watches as Ace is escorted down to the labs No, I'm staying with the Doctor! * Ace_McS goes for her rucksack * Miss_Winters smiles at the other man and sadly nods * Ace_McS gets her nitro-9 out * Guards stop Ace * Guards club her into submission * Ace_McS passes out * Nitro9 rolls over to the elevator * Nitro9 rolls behind the flower pot ***** * TrevorF escorts Lee down the hall to the "waiting room" You'll go in here, boy. * Chang_Lee glares at Trevor Guard! * Chang_Lee coughs * TrevorF claps another chloroform pad over Chang's nose and mouth, then thinks twice about it and puts the pad back We'll let you stay conscious for now. * Aspard comes over to Trevor * Chang_Lee coughs again Yes sir? Prepare a...room...for this one. Right away sir! No! Let me go! * Aspard marches off to prepare a room * TrevorF tightens his grip and holds the pad up threateningly * Chang_Lee looks frightened I wouldn't mind getting to use this again, you know. * Aspard gets room 47 ready OK...OK. * TrevorF nods Good. * TrevorF waits for Aspard to return Your apartment lies within, good gentlesire. * Aspard smirks at the boy * TrevorF grins wryly and hands Lee over to her * Chang_Lee looks strangely at Aspard * Chang_Lee whispers "Dork!" * Aspard pushes Chang into the room * TrevorF turns on his heel and pads away down the hall * Chang_Lee stumbles and falls to the floor You, sir, are a cad! * Chang_Lee jumps up and runs toward the door * Aspard locks the door and smiles in at the boy You're just going to love it here, you know. * Aspard waits for Trevor to leave * Chang_Lee tries the door * TrevorF has turned the corner Locked! * Aspard pinches the boy's fingers that are wrapped around the bars on the door Ouch! I always enjoy the new arrivals. * Aspard goes over to her desk to get out some "toys" * Chang_Lee steps back, and looks fearfully at Aspard What time is it, boys and boys? * Aspard arrives back at the door Time? It's torture time! No... * Aspard unlocks the door and pushes Chang down onto the floor * Chang_Lee tries the door again No...get away from me! * Aspard gets out a stilleto * Chang_Lee eyes widen Get away from me! * Aspard smiles wickedly as the credit music starts ::ending credits for second episode:: * Sade_Cummings, Aspard's assistant, looks at Chang Lee aaahhh, no....get away from me! The thumb screws, I think! Thumb Screws? That some new band? You'll find out, my flippant friend... huh? Crazy lady. You just stay away from me! * Aspard_ slaps Chang Lee across the face with her whip Ow! What'd you do that for? * Sade_Cummings looks at Aspard