21 December 1996 Doctor Who - Barbie's Bloody Christmas aka Revenge of the Killer Kens starring the sixth Doctor and Victoria Waterfield Bethani (weather1@ix.netcom.com) - Mrs-S-Claus, cuteadorableelf DrGrace (judiang@idt.net) - Hervy_the_Elf Haem (haem@lys.vnet.net) - Killer-Ken, Creature-in-the-Snow, Talking-Barbie, Creepy_voice, Christmas_lights, Dollhouse_table, Dollhouse_tables, Garage_door, Dollhouse_couches, Picket_fence_sections, Dollhouse_rooves, Plastic_clock, Army-of-Killer-Barbies, Detachment, Killer-Barbie, Horrid-Creature, Electricity, Creature-juices, Consciousness MegL (lahey@pld.com) - Doc-6, Elf_Redshirt, TARDIS, Blizters_kid talavera (talavera@gate.net) - Victoria-, Random_Elf, Whistler_the_Elf TheDrake (godzilla@aug.com) - The_Santa_Claus --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::teaser:: * Mrs-S-Claus bustles about in the kitchen, merrily making cookies * The_Santa_Claus busily checks his list to see who's naughty and who's nice this year * The_Santa_Claus puts Anthony under the naughty list * Mrs-S-Claus takes the dancing sugar plums out of the oven Drat, that batch died. Perhaps I should lower the temperature. * The_Santa_Claus gets hungry * The_Santa_Claus sneaks into the kitchen on tippy toes * The_Santa_Claus steals some cookies Naughty Santa! * Mrs-S-Claus writes Santa on her naughty list I'm hungry! Have an apple, you need to reduce your waist. But I've been putting in a lot of long hours! I need a snack! * The_Santa_Claus pouts * The_Santa_Claus takes the apple and puts the cookies back ***** * Hervy_the_Elf lugs his dentistry book around * Hervy_the_Elf sits at a table and reads * Hervy_the_Elf reads on about molars * Hervy_the_Elf studies the pictures of diseased gums with fascination * Hervy_the_Elf turns the pages OOOOOOOooo, impacted wisdom teeth... * Hervy_the_Elf puts the book down and daydreams about a dentistry practice ***** * Killer-Ken lies in a box together with other half-assembled dolls * Creature-in-the-Snow exerts its powerful influence... * Killer-Ken twitches * Killer-Ken slowly rises from the box, clattering to the floor in a darkened corner of the toy warehouse * Elf_Redshirt goes to look at the box of dolls * Elf_Redshirt notices that the box of dolls has been disturbed * Killer-Ken rummages around behind the box of dolls, coming out with a metal pole used in assembly of the robots * Elf_Redshirt stands over the box and waits * Killer-Ken walks out into the shadow of the box, eyes fastened on Elf Redshirt * Elf_Redshirt starts picking up the mess made by Killer Ken getting out of the box * Creature-in-the-Snow tightens the doll's grip on the metal pole * Killer-Ken leaps up on his doll legs, landing on the elf's shoulder Eek! * Killer-Ken drives the metal spike through the elf's soft head * Elf_Redshirt screams * Elf_Redshirt dies * Killer-Ken hops back into the box, nary a drop of blood upon him * Creature-in-the-Snow relinquishes its control over the doll ::title credits:: * TARDIS materializes outside Santa's house * Doc-6 looks out the TARDIS viewscreen * Doc-6 doesn't think this looks like the Eye of Orion * Victoria- enters the console room Good morning, Doctor. Where are we headed now? Well, I was trying to visit the Eye of Orion, but this doesn't look right...what do you think, Victoria? Eye of Orion, Doctor? A nice planet with spring-like conditions. This looks more like Tibet. * Victoria- looks at the scanner If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was the North Pole. No more Cybertombs, I hope. North Pole? North Pole! I can't be THAT far off. * Doc-6 makes a hrumph sound Well, we'll just have to go out and look. * Doc-6 goes and gets his blue cape * Victoria- gets her anorak * Doc-6 exits the TARDIS * Victoria- follows him out ***** Did I hear a scream? * Random_Elf walks into the storage room with a big load of Ken doll boxes * Random_Elf drops them to the floor * Random_Elf sees the body Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! And another scream! * Hervy_the_Elf pops out of his daydream * Hervy_the_Elf wonders if he heard something * The_Santa_Claus hopes the elves aren't being naughty in the shower again! * Hervy_the_Elf jumps up and walks around fearfully Eeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! * Random_Elf runs screaming from the room * Random_Elf bumps into Santa Watch it, half-pint! Santa! Someone's been...naughty! Ho Ho Ho? Where? * Hervy_the_Elf sees the other elf and comes over In Barbieland! * The_Santa_Claus groans Not the Barbies again! Didn't I tell you elves, those are the wrong kind of dolls? Someone killed Redshirt! Killed? Killed??? You must come...now! * Random_Elf pulls Santa along * The_Santa_Claus hopes he has his insurance paid up * Hervy_the_Elf follows Santa and the elf * The_Santa_Claus looks at the dead elf Poor old little Burt. * The_Santa_Claus shakes his head * Hervy_the_Elf sees the dead elf and gasps Sure he's dead? Hervy, check him out. Me, Santa? I'm a dentist...not a doctor. * Hervy_the_Elf looks the dead elf over gingerly Yes, he appears dead. But he had verrrry bad teeth, too. * The_Santa_Claus thinks it's going to be one of those days ***** * Doc-6 looks around * Doc-6 sees Santa's house * Victoria- looks around Hum...looks like civilization over that direction. Tibet, Doctor? I don't see any mountains... Definitely NOT the North Pole. There isn't anyone living at the North Pole. * Doc-6 thinks he knows it all Of course not, Doctor. ***** Hmmm Santa, he was shishkabobbed by that metal pole...oh dear. Yes, looks painful, Hervy. We'd better put him on ice. * The_Santa_Claus laughs at his own joke Ho...Ho...Ho... * Hervy_the_Elf looks curiously at Santa Okay, Santa... * Hervy_the_Elf motions to the other elf to help drag the body out ***** Shall we go? I could do with some cocoa already. Well, it's the only place to go. * Doc-6 smiles at Victoria * Doc-6 heads for the house * cuteadorableelf approaches Doctor 6 * Victoria- notices the elf Doctor! * Doc-6 stops Doctor...are you sure this isn't the planet of the garden gnomes, or something? I'm not sure, Victoria. * cuteadorableelf stares at the visitors, interested Hello, who are you? Hi sir, I'm Nermal the elf. What brings you here? Could you tell us where we are? * Hervy_the_Elf drags the dead elf out into the snow * Hervy_the_Elf sees the group in the distance * Hervy_the_Elf drudges over to the group and stares curiously at the newcomers * Victoria- brushes snow off her anorak Why, you're at the North Pole, of course! North Pole? Really? Home of Santa and his friendly elves. Santa Claus? And who are YOU? I'm the Doctor. This is Victoria. * Hervy_the_Elf glances warily at the visitors We are travellers. Welcome to our land! You must be cold, would you like me to lead you to Santa's workshop? Could you take us to see Santa? Oh, could we, Doctor? * Hervy_the_Elf whispers to Nermal Be careful...Burt was just found dead in Barbieland. Okay, I'll steer him clear. * Hervy_the_Elf stares silently at the duo Well, come on then, I'll take you all to Santa's house. * cuteadorableelf leads the way through the ice and snow * Doc-6 follows the elf * Victoria- trudges through the snow * Hervy_the_Elf follows the duo suspiciously And here is Santa's house. He's busy with his toys right now, but will be right back. * Hervy_the_Elf glances nervously at the man in the hideous coat Thanks. * Hervy_the_Elf exits with Nermal ***** * The_Santa_Claus plays with the Barbies Ho...Ho...Ho... * The_Santa_Claus wonders what's keeping the elves ***** * Victoria- lowers the hood on her anorak * Doc-6 goes over and gets a cup of coca What do you think, Victoria? * Victoria- gets some cocoa, too I don't know...isn't this all supposed to be...make-believe? * Hervy_the_Elf listens at the door Well, this doesn't seem to be make-believe. No...it doesn't. * Victoria- sips cocoa * The_Santa_Claus catches Hervy at the door listening * Hervy_the_Elf jumps Santa! What's up, Hervy? * Hervy_the_Elf whispers These two just arrived in a big box...the one in the loud coat is very suspicious. Loud coat, eh? * Hervy_the_Elf nods Yes...anybody who wears that has to be a bit off. Well, I'll just go and meet them. I'm wondering if we might have got knocked off course to an alternate universe? Alternate universe, Doctor? Well, the TARDIS has, on occasions, ended up going sideways. * Victoria- nods lightly * Victoria- sips cocoa with a slightly confused look * The_Santa_Claus enters the kitchen * Hervy_the_Elf tags behind Ho...Ho...HO? * The_Santa_Claus stares at the coat * Doc-6 notices Santa * Doc-6 is happy to meet someone who's heavier than him * Victoria- notices Santa and freezes in shock Hello, I'm the Doctor and this is Victoria. I know Victoria! She's always been a good girl. * Victoria- opens and closes her mouth, but no sound comes out * Hervy_the_Elf thinks Victoria is pretty * Doc-6 looks surprised You're Santa, I presume? The Santa Claus! * The_Santa_Claus shakes hands with the Doctor Hope you liked that pony, my dear. * Victoria- blushes a bit It was...delicious, Santa. * Hervy_the_Elf does a doubletake at that and frowns What pony? How can this be? Are you really him? * Mrs-S-Claus offers cookies to all the guests * Victoria- picks up a cookie Thank you. What brings you to the North Pole, Doctor? I'm not sure. The TARDIS was supposed to be going to the Eye of Orion, but landed here. * Hervy_the_Elf narrows his eyes at the Doctor I'm wondering if the TARDIS might have thought you needed some help. Do you? Me? * Hervy_the_Elf gapes and looks at Santa * Doc-6 see Hervy the elf and wonders what his problem is * Hervy_the_Elf closes his mouth Very good cookies, Mrs. Claus. Why, thank you. Ho...well, something did kill an elf. * Doc-6 is alarmed Killed an elf?! Kill...killed an elf? Oh, that's horrible! What happened? * Doc-6 looks suspiciously at Hervy Tell them, Hervy. * Hervy_the_Elf barges forward Yes, at the same time you were allegedly arriving. * The_Santa_Claus munches on a cookie and nods No "allegedly." I've never heard about any of this. He was skewered through the head with a metal pole. * Hervy_the_Elf stares at the Doctor accusingly Oh dear. Nasty bit, that. * Victoria- looks a bit pale He was going to be my next dental patient, too. Oh my, this hasn't happened ever in the North Pole. Did he have any enemies among the other elves? * Doc-6 looks accusingly back at Hervy There is nothing that lives here that would do such a thing. * Doc-6 looks at Mrs Claus in wonder Well, not since 1879, Mother. Oh yes, I misremembered 1879. What happened in 1879? Terrible year. We lost 4 elves that year. * Hervy_the_Elf shivers in remembering We lost so many dear friends. * Doc-6 listens * Victoria- looks paler and paler * Victoria- sits in a chair * Hervy_the_Elf looks at Victoria and remembers to warn the reindeer about her Want to look at the scene of the crime, Doctor? Yes. Victoria, do you wish to come? Very well, Doctor. This way. * Doc-6 follows Santa * Victoria- gets up primly, and follows Doc6 * Hervy_the_Elf tags behind Right in there. The body is outside...on ice. * Victoria- looks at Hervy in horror * Doc-6 looks around the room * Hervy_the_Elf watches the Doctor's every move OK. I'll look here, then go and look at the body. I have to put these Barbies in storage room Alpha 13. * The_Santa_Claus struggles with the boxes * The_Santa_Claus heads for the storage room * Victoria- looks around the room * Doc-6 sees the metal rod and notices it's very thin Hervy, what is this rod used for? Other than killing fellow elves? Oh, that is for making the robots, Doctor. Robots? What sort of robots? Ro-robots? Yes, we make some of the best robots...high tech. Doctor...they don't make Cybermen, do they? Could you show them to me? * Hervy_the_Elf nods and leads him to a section of the warehouse * Doc-6 follows * Victoria- follows Doc6 ***** * The_Santa_Claus enters the the dark and forboding Storage Room Z Alpha 13 * Creature-in-the-Snow senses Santa's presence in the storage room, and animates one of the dolls * The_Santa_Claus feels eyes watching him and shudders * Talking-Barbie speaks in a creepy, ethereal voice Santa... * The_Santa_Claus hears something * The_Santa_Claus jumps * Talking-Barbie pushes against the plastic of her packaging Hervy, this isn't funny! * Creature-in-the-Snow causes the Barbie plastic packaging to rupture * Talking-Barbie pushes her way out of the package Santa... * The_Santa_Claus drops the boxes Who's there? Listen carefully. The death of the elf was an example. * The_Santa_Claus starts to back up It will happen again unless you do exactly as you are told. What do you want? Make certain that every child receives a doll or action figure this year. Those are your terms, are they not? * Talking-Barbie's eyes gleam with intelligence You can't blackmail Santa! This is imperative. If you desire to keep your workforce alive, you will obey. I don't take kindly to threats. * The_Santa_Claus sees a hockey stick * Creature-in-the-Snow causes the talking Barbie doll to launch itself past Santa's ear * The_Santa_Claus swings the stick at the Barbie * Creepy_voice echoes in the workroom You cannot harm us. But we can harm you. * The_Santa_Claus swings again * Talking-Barbie is no longer animated, and lies motionless on the warehouse floor Do not tell anyone of this, or suffer the consequences. * Creepy_voice fades away * The_Santa_Claus puts the stick down * The_Santa_Claus leaves the room to find the Doctor ***** * Doc-6 is following Hervy * Victoria- tries to stay as far away from Hervy as possible * Hervy_the_Elf prattles on about the virtues of the robots * Hervy_the_Elf points at the rows of robots Aren't they incredible? Different. Where did you get the pattern for them? * Doc-6 thinks they look like Cybermen * Victoria- gets paler and paler Pattern? Well...we've had the design ever since I can remember. * Doc-6 nods Well, let's go look at the body * Doc-6 looks to Hervy to lead the way * Hervy_the_Elf leads the group to the iceblock outside * Victoria- reluctantly follows Hum...he's a mess. Yes, he needs an extensive root canal... * Doc-6 notices the weird angle the pole must have gone in * Victoria- glances one or twice at the dead elf, but mostly looks at the horizon Hervy, how small is the smallest elf around here? * Hervy_the_Elf blushes Well...I am. Well then, none of the elves could have done it. * Hervy_the_Elf gasps Another elf??? No... No, not another elf. You're all too tall. This elf was killed by something around 11 inches tall. * Hervy_the_Elf is gratified to hear he is too tall * Hervy_the_Elf can't wait to tell Rudolph * Victoria- looks at the Doctor * The_Santa_Claus sneaks past the robot toys and heads outside * The_Santa_Claus wonders if he should melt all the plastic toys * The_Santa_Claus sees the group and heads for them * Creepy-voice echoes in Santa's head: ...do not tell anyone of this, or suffer the consequences... * The_Santa_Claus thinks, bugger the consequences! * Doc-6 sees Santa and heads for him * Victoria- follows Doc6 * Hervy_the_Elf rushes behind them Santa, we must talk. * The_Santa_Claus huffs and puffs Doctor, the toys are evil! Let's go back to the house. * Doc-6 takes Santa's arm and goes back to the kitchen area * Hervy_the_Elf hangs back and darts off to find Rudolph * Victoria- gets more cocoa Doctor, the toys are trying to blackmail me! Blackmail? They're what? They want me to give a plastic toy to every boy and girl! * Creature-in-the-Snow hears that and is angered Plastic toy...whatever for? They, who's they? The toys! * The_Santa_Claus jumps up and down and jiggles You know, the Barbies and GI Joes. They are talking to you? * Doc-6 thinks about taking Santa's temputure * Victoria- looks a bit worriedly at Santa Yes! And I think they killed Burt! Could you take me to the dolls in question? * Doc-6 is not ruling this out. Barbies are 11 inches tall. Victoria, would you go see what Hervy's up to? Oh...oh! Yes...very well. I'm going to go look at these "dolls" * Victoria- sips some cocoa, and heads out the same door Hervy did * Victoria- notices the tracks in the snow, heading toward the barns * Victoria- pulls up the hood of her anorak, and sets out * The_Santa_Claus shows the Doctor to the storage room * Doc-6 follows Santa ***** * Creature-in-the-Snow sees that an elf is alone in Rudolph's shed * Creature-in-the-Snow decides it is time to begin teaching Santa a lesson * Hervy_the_Elf tells Rudolph about what has happened * Blizters_kid is still ticked off that Rudolph saved the day * Hervy_the_Elf glances around at the lights * Christmas_lights sway gently in the breeze Oh oh, I think the lights need tacking down. * Christmas_lights blink on and off in a pleasant fashion Going to see Rudolph, Hervy? * Blizters_kid wonders about those two * Hervy_the_Elf sees the kid Is there a hammer or something around? This barn is just a mess. * Christmas_lights suddenly jerk, then are still Over there, Hervy. On the bench. * Christmas_lights return to swaying in the breeze You still working on becoming a dentist? * Hervy_the_Elf pick up the hammer and goes to re-secure the light string * Christmas_lights keep blinking, but now the pattern seems...menacing You know I am. * Blizters_kid follows Hervy Just wondering. * Hervy_the_Elf climbs up on some boxes * Hervy_the_Elf glances down at the kid * Blizters_kid glances up You really need to get your teeth checked. * Blizters_kid shivers at that thought * Hervy_the_Elf pulls the light string tightly and hooks it over the nail * Christmas_lights whip out of their fastenings and twine themselves around Hervy's neck * Christmas_lights blink brightly and harshly * Hervy_the_Elf screams and drops the hammer Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! * Christmas_lights try to pull tight * Hervy_the_Elf pulls at the lights Leave him alone! * Blizters_kid attacks the lights * Blizters_kid bites the lights * Christmas_lights quit trying to strangle the elf * Christmas_lights dive for Blizter's kid instead * Victoria- trudges through the snow * Victoria- nears the barn, and wonders why the lights are flickering * Hervy_the_Elf tumbles to the ground * Christmas_lights slowly throttle the young reindeer * Blizters_kid struggles Help! * Victoria- hears, and starts running * Hervy_the_Elf recovers in time to see the kid struggle NOOOOOOOO!!!!! * Christmas_lights tighten around the animal's throat akakakaka * Christmas_lights wait until the reindeer goes limp, then fly back up to their fastenings * Blizters_kid dies * Blizters_kid falls to the ground * Hervy_the_Elf jumps up and runs over to the kid * Victoria- enters the shed Hervy? Are you OK? * Victoria- sees Blizters_kid, and screams * Doc-6 hears Victoria scream Santa, something's wrong! No one screams like that except Victoria...even Mel doesn't scream that loud!!! Yes, she does have leather lungs...let's go! * Hervy_the_Elf cradles the kid's head Oh, Blazer!!! No!...no!...This can't be happening! * Victoria- drops to her knees by the reindeer * Victoria- rubs its coat gently * Hervy_the_Elf sobs weakly with his sore throat * Doc-6 runs into the stable * The_Santa_Claus follows What's happening? Not another dead elf? * Doc-6 goes to the reindeer but sees it's too late * Creepy_voice is heard only by Santa * The_Santa_Claus swears at the damn creepy voice in his head This is only the beginning. Heed us. * Doc-6 hears the voice too * Creepy_voice fades out again * Victoria- puts her hand on Hervy's shoulder What happened? and...do you have a large rotisserie? Victoria... Yes, Doctor? * Doc-6 thinks he needs to have a talk with the young woman Let's not think of your stomach at such a time...you're starting to sound like Adric. * Doc-6 frowns * Hervy_the_Elf looks up...one mad elf * Hervy_the_Elf pushes Victoria away YOU...YOU...cannibal!!! Cannibal? I was only asking...we have some nice sides of beef in the TARDIS, you know. * Hervy_the_Elf stares at the crazy woman * Victoria- sniffs Victoria, we'll go ask Mrs Claus to make you some dinner. * The_Santa_Claus thinks it wouldn't be right to eat Blazer * Doc-6 thinks not too * The_Santa_Claus thinks Comet 1 was tasty Santa, I just heard a voice warning you off. And it tried to kill me, too!!! * Hervy_the_Elf was too distraught to hear the voice * Creature-in-the-Snow realizes that another in the vicinity is somehow infringing upon its directed thoughts Is that the voice you've been hearing? * Creature-in-the-Snow reaches out to feel this new mind Yes, it is, Doctor. * Creature-in-the-Snow recoils at once - a Time Lord! * Creature-in-the-Snow is aware of them through its link with the Consciousness That's not a Barbie voice. If it were, it would be saying, "Math isn't fun, partying is!" Doctor...? I've heard that voice somewhere before, but I can't remember where. * Hervy_the_Elf continues to cradle poor Blazer Santa, let's get Hervy into the house and send someone out to bury Blazer. OK, Doctor. Don't let her near him!! We won't. * Victoria- looks strangely at Hervy * Victoria- trudges back toward the house * Victoria- mumbles I didn't want to eat him... * Doc-6 picks up Hervy and takes him to the house with Santa * Hervy_the_Elf wipes away a tear and rubs his raw throat ***** * Creature-in-the-Snow sees that Santa obviously has not learned his lesson * Creature-in-the-Snow probes the complex for more elves... ***** * Whistler_the_Elf whistles while he works * Whistler_the_Elf assembles Barbie's Ho-ho-ho Houses * Creature-in-the-Snow probes the room for things it can control * Whistler_the_Elf cuts sheets from red satin * Creature-in-the-Snow finds something and begins to flex its power * Dollhouse_table shifts slightly * Whistler_the_Elf whistles some more * Whistler_the_Elf heads toward the furniture bins * Whistler_the_Elf reaches for the waterbed...and hears something moving in the table bin * Dollhouse_tables fly towards Whistler from the bin, legs outward * Whistler_the_Elf looks shocked, and stops whistling * Dollhouse_tables batter Whistler, driving him back toward the dollhouse Eeeeeee... * Whistler_the_Elf flails about * Garage_door slides upward menacingly * Whistler_the_Elf gets wrapped in the red satin, and tumbles to the floor by the door Eeeeeee...eeeeeeeeee...! * Dollhouse_couches fly from another part of the room, battering Whistler further toward the dollhouse Eeeeee...eeeeeeee...! * Whistler_the_Elf kicks and screams Iiiiiiiiiiii! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! * Picket_fence_sections zoom out of their box, bruising Whistler * Whistler_the_Elf thrashes frantically * Garage_door goes up and down menacingly Eeeeeeeeee! * Dollhouse_rooves topple out of their boxes and scoot across the floor toward Whistler * Dollhouse_rooves attach themselves to Whistler, making him topple over into the large dollhouse garage Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii! * Whistler_the_Elf stares at the door * Whistler_the_Elf's eyes open wide * Garage_door morphs into a very sharp instrument * Garage_door slices down toward Whistler's neck... Eeeeeeeeeee... ***** * Doc-6 is sitting in the kitchen, talking to Santa * The_Santa_Claus marvels at the Doctor's stories * Hervy_the_Elf lies on the kitchen window seat and listens * Hervy_the_Elf doesn't think Victoria is pretty anymore So Santa, I know I've heard that voice before, I just can't remember where. Victoria, do you remember? What voice, Doctor? * Victoria- chows down Didn't you hear a voice earlier? What kind of voice? I heard you, and Santa, and Hervy. You know, a screech voice. No, I didn't. Well, I wish the voice was gone. Jo, I'm sure you heard it...Jo? Jo?? Jo? I've got it! * Hervy_the_Elf croaks: Jo? I heard the voice during my third life! Jo was my companion then, Victoria. Oh...I see. She had less dress sense than you, but at least she didn't eat as much. * Doc-6 is amazed at the food Victoria is putting away * Victoria- looks haughtily at Doc6 Perhaps if I got to eat more often... * Hervy_the_Elf wonders how many lives the Doctor has had * Hervy_the_Elf fantasizes about being a companion...away from this hellish life Anyway, let me see if I can remember when I heard it...I think it had to do with robots...but not Cybermen. Good...what kind of robots? Think plastic, Doctor. * Doc-6 thinks Mannequins? * Creature-in-the-Snow notices, through its many eyes around the room, that the Doctor is getting too close. Time for a diversion. * Plastic_clock falls off the wall * Hervy_the_Elf screams Aiiiiieeeeeee! Autons! The Nestene...I remember it now! The Nestenes are a race that can control plastic. * Creature-in-the-Snow is angry - too late! * Doc-6 notices Hervy's scream and turns What?! * Hervy_the_Elf points at the clock * Doc-6 jumps up and looks at the plastic clock What's wrong, Hervy? It just jumped off the wall and flew through the air... * Creature-in-the-Snow whispers at the Doctor Time Lord...you cannot stop us. We control the complex. That's OK, Hervy, it's talking to me. * The_Santa_Claus is stunned * Victoria- helps herself to some more stuffing * Hervy_the_Elf wonders if he and Rudolph should run away again * Army-of-Killer-Barbies marches in columns out of the storage room * Army-of-Killer-Barbies is equipped with lots of metal implements and other deadly items * Army-of-Killer-Barbies emerges into the main room Killer Barbies! * The_Santa_Claus screams like a little girl Santa, do you have a PA system? Yes, over there, Doctor. Victoria, back towards the PA system. * Doc-6 does the same * Hervy_the_Elf sneaks out of the kitchen, deciding to make a dash for it * Detachment of Barbies pursue Hervy * Hervy_the_Elf stops short EEEEEEEEEEE!!! * Hervy_the_Elf runs * The_Santa_Claus thinks he needs to change his pants... * Doc-6 makes it to the PA system Victoria, when I say scream, do so. OK, Doctor. * Victoria- reluctantly puts down her turkey leg * Doc-6 turns on the PA and pumps up the volume * Killer-Barbie throws its metal implement at the Doctor * Killer-Barbie leaps for the Doctor's neck * Doc-6 ducks humf. * Doc-6 fights with the Barbie doll * Doc-6 manages to get the Barbie doll off of him * Killer-Barbie flies over the Doctor's head and thwaps into the wall Scream now! * The_Santa_Claus faints AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * Army-of-Killer-Barbies quickly race toward Victoria Keep doing it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * Army-of-Killer-Barbies slows down AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * The_Santa_Claus' ears pop * Doc-6's ears are ringing * Hervy_the_Elf dashes for the awful sound * Victoria- waves her knife at the Barbies * Creature-in-the-Snow is finding this incredibly loud noise to be very distracting * Creature-in-the-Snow cannot maintain control over the dolls AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * Army-of-Killer-Barbies drops to the ground Keep it up! * Army-of-Killer-Barbies is lifeless AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHH! * Creature-in-the-Snow concentrates its energy on blocking out the noise * Hervy_the_Elf chops a nearby Barbie * The_Santa_Claus thinks it's time to retire AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * Victoria- pants a bit AAAAAAAAAAAA... OK, you can stop now. O...K...Doctor. Santa, get the elves and let's get these things out of here. * Victoria- hyperventilates * The_Santa_Claus scurries to round up the elves * Hervy_the_Elf notices that a boom box was recording * Creature-in-the-Snow sees that the noise has stopped and tentatively begins again * Killer_Barbie jerks to life * Hervy_the_Elf points at the boom box * Killer_Barbie thrashes in the elf's hand * Victoria- steps forward, and twists her ankle on a Barbie Victoria, please start screaming again. ow! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! * Killer_Barbie convulses again and quits moving AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! * Hervy_the_Elf rushes to the box and switches on play * Hervy_the_Elf hears the tape of Victoria's voice fill the room * Creature-in-the-Snow is irked again - the odd noise keeps coming! * Creature-in-the-Snow establishes a more stable dimensional link and lifts its corporeal form out of the snow * Hervy_the_Elf shuts off the boom box * Victoria- rubs her ankle * Horrid-Creature slithers across the snow, heading for Santa's complex * Horrid-Creature looks like a cross between an octopus and a crab * Horrid-Creature is finding it hard to control the plastic things in the complex, so it will be necessary to attempt a physical battle * Horrid-Creature whispers to Santa You cannot destroy us... * Victoria- staggers to her feet, and limps toward the doctor Hervy, do you have that boom box? Yes, right here. OK, let's hook that up to the PA system. We're running poor Victoria's voice down. * Hervy_the_Elf hooks the box to the system * Victoria- sits down and rubs her ankle some more OK, let's take the Christmas lights and run them out on the snow. * Hervy_the_Elf nods and rushes about * Doc-6 hopes the sound does it * Victoria- hobbles about a bit trying to help Santa, how's it going? * The_Santa_Claus hopes this works * The_Santa_Claus thinks he hasn't this much truoble since the Martians kidnapped him * Hervy_the_Elf sprints out, drops the lights and sprints back All done, Doctor. OK, let's see what shows up! * Horrid-Creature's excellent eye spies the elf running out of the complex * Horrid-Creature speeds up * Horrid-Creature thinks this elf would be a good one to kill * Hervy_the_Elf thinks he sees something * Victoria- spies motion in the distance Doctor! * Victoria- points * Doc-6 sees the Nestene coming OK, I'm going to crank it up. * Doc-6 turns on the PA system and boom box * Horrid-Creature is nearly at the door, and extends a tentacle past the threshold Back up, everyone. * Victoria- backs up * Horrid-Creature's claws clack angrily * Horrid-Creature enters the room, and pauses a moment to adjust to the lighting level * Hervy_the_Elf clamps his hands over his ears and backs up * Horrid-Creature lashes out with its tentacles and grabs Hervy * Doc-6 sets the PA at 100 dbs * Horrid-Creature begins to pull Hervy closer Eeeeeeeeeeeee!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Aaiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! * Doc-6 picks up the lights and throws them at the creature * Hervy_the_Elf struggles mightly * Horrid-Creature bats the lights away with a claw * Horrid-Creature is surprised by a surge of energy as its claw comes in contact with the bare wires * Electricity arcs around the Nestene * Hervy_the_Elf is shocked out of the monster's grasp * Hervy_the_Elf goes flying across the room * Doc-6 pulls Hervy away * Victoria- drags Hervy away * Horrid-Creature screams loudly * Horrid-Creature screeches in extreme pain * Hervy_the_Elf lies inert from the shock * Victoria- checks for a pot just a bit bigger than Hervy * Victoria- doesn't see one Oh well. * Victoria- gives Hervy mouth to mouth * Hervy_the_Elf revives * Doc-6 cranks the sound up more * Hervy_the_Elf rises to his elbows and watches the death scene * Horrid-Creature cannot survive the electrical energy and the amplified sound waves, and its flesh cracks open * Creature-juices spurt out of the open wound * Victoria- wrinkles her nose Let's move to the next room! * Victoria- drags Hervy out the door * Doc-6 grabs Victoria and Hervy and runs for it * The_Santa_Claus wonders if he can bribe the elves to clean that mess up? * Horrid-Creature screams once more in death, then collapses, its physical form deflating as the tentacles sprawl across the ground * Hervy_the_Elf is grossed out Well, it's dead. * Doc-6 sighs * Consciousness is defeated for now, but will never give up in its attempts to conquer the Earth! Well, I guess we'll be off now, Santa. Thanks, Doctor. Hervy, would you like to come with Victoria and I? * Hervy_the_Elf bounces happily to his feet We'll bring him back by next Christmas, Santa. Oh, can I!!! * Hervy_the_Elf jumps up and down * The_Santa_Claus slips a bag of jellybabies into the Doctor's jacket * Hervy_the_Elf looks narrowly at Victoria What about...her? Well, I have to take her back to met up with one of my former selves soon. * Hervy_the_Elf grins with relief But she'll be with us for a while. Ohh... Not too long. Goodbye, Hervy. * Hervy_the_Elf grabs his dentistry stuff Bye, Santa. * Doc-6 shakes Santa's hand * Hervy_the_Elf hugs Santa's leg Let's go! Goodbye, Santa. Thanks for the food. Goodbye, Victoria. Watch out for a red haired girl, Doctor! * Doc-6 heads for the TARDIS * Hervy_the_Elf heads behind * Doc-6 enters the TARDIS and waits for Hervy and Victoria * Victoria- waves to Santa and enters the TARDIS * Hervy_the_Elf returns from telling Rudoph and enters the TARDIS * TARDIS takes off ::the end!::