9 August 1997 - ep 1

                            Doctor Who - Hex Sign
             starring the eighth Doctor, Vislor Turlough and K-9

        AldenB (abates@wn.planet.gen.nz) - Stock_Henchman_Derek
        DrGrace (judiang@idt.net) - Eighth_Doctor
        Lordtroll (dsblair@bright.net) - George_Garvin
        Meliphyre (mwhite@memphisonline.com) - GraceProctor
        Romana^3 (fuzzyblue@bright.net) - Goodefellow
        trinalin (trinalin@earthlink.net) - Turlough
        Xirtam (xirtam@dudley.dnc.net) - ^^K9^^

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* Eighth_Doctor tinkers underneath the console
* Eighth_Doctor pulls himself out and rises

<Eighth_Doctor> Well, that should do it.

* Turlough is flipping through the pages of a physics journal
* Turlough smiles to himself as he sees yet another fundamental blunder
  in the article

* ^^K9^^ rolls over to Turlough

<Turlough> What do you want, K9?

<^^K9^^> Status reports indicate temperatures below zero degree celsius,
         Master.

<Turlough> Where is the temperature that cold? In that glass of ice water?

<^^K9^^> Negative, the temperature of that ice water is 2.546732121
         celsius.

* Turlough snorts.

<Turlough> Can't be.

* Eighth_Doctor lightly frowns at K9

<Eighth_Doctor> Maybe you could stand some adjusting. Check your systems.

<^^K9^^> System diagnosis activated.

* Eighth_Doctor watches the rotor as he awaits K9's reply

<Eighth_Doctor> A bit sluggish, K9.

<^^K9^^> Diagnosis completed.

* Eighth_Doctor sees the rotor come to a standstill

<Turlough> And what was your conclusion?

* Turlough throws the journal into the heap by the door - another hour
  wasted on Earth scientists

<^^K9^^> All systems nominal.

* Eighth_Doctor stares at K9

<Eighth_Doctor> So they are. Well, in case you haven't noticed, we have
                arrived.

<Turlough> Good - it's about time.

* Eighth_Doctor checks the chronometer

<Eighth_Doctor> Yes, Lancaster, Pennsylvania. 1940.

* ^^K9^^ rolls over to the Doctor

<Eighth_Doctor> Right on time.

* Eighth_Doctor grins smugly

<Turlough> Earth? Again? Why have we come here?

* Eighth_Doctor glances at Turlough and grins

<Eighth_Doctor> For a wonderful human art...a quilt.

* ^^K9^^ wags his mechanical tail

<Turlough> Quilt? A blanket? We've come here for a blanket?

<Eighth_Doctor> Yes, a quilt. I understand that at this point in time,
                the Amish made the most beautiful quilt to behold.

<Turlough> Look, Doctor, if you're cold, I can let you have one of mine.
           I've got the thermostat set just right.

* Eighth_Doctor looks at Turlough sadly
* Eighth_Doctor flicks the switch to the doors

<Eighth_Doctor> Turlough, you really must learn some appreciation for the
                finer things.

* Turlough shakes his head at the Doctor

<Eighth_Doctor> And it's not JUST a blanket.

<Turlough> Whatever you say, Doctor.  You're the expert.

* Eighth_Doctor glances down at K9

<Eighth_Doctor> Right, K9?

<Turlough> K9, I do hope you are ready for boredom.

<^^K9^^> Master.

* Eighth_Doctor sighs sadly at the two and quickly exits

* ^^K9^^ rolls out behind the Doctor

* Turlough walks out to an autumn afternoon
* Turlough inhales deeply

<Turlough> At least the people in this time zone haven't polluted their
           atmosphere too badly yet.

* Eighth_Doctor glances around, hands on hips

<Eighth_Doctor> Yes, it's lovely.

* ^^K9^^ rolls over next to the Doctor

<Eighth_Doctor> Crisp clean air. Look at the beautiful autumn colors.

<Turlough> So where will they have these "quilts"?

* Eighth_Doctor looks up in the distance

<Eighth_Doctor> Over there. Looks like a town.

<Turlough> Small town.

<Eighth_Doctor> That must be Lancaster.

<Turlough> Where are all the power lines, Doctor? I didn't think they had
           underground power here yet.

* Eighth_Doctor shakes his head

<Eighth_Doctor> This is an Amish community. They don't abide modern
                conveniences.

<Turlough> Ah. Well, it certainly keeps the city clean.

* Turlough sidesteps a pile of manure

<Turlough> Well, some of it clean.

* Eighth_Doctor starts up a road and avoids a dung pile

<Eighth_Doctor> Well, some things stay the same.

* ^^K9^^, unlike the others, rolls into the manure

<^^K9^^> Master!

<Turlough> Oh, good grief, K9!

* Turlough moves away from K9 and walks toward the town

* Eighth_Doctor steps faster also

* ^^K9^^ backs up

<Turlough> You don't suppose they have any outdoor water spouts here, do
           you?

* ^^K9^^ rolls around it and stays behind

* Eighth_Doctor looks over curiously

<Eighth_Doctor> Water sports?

<Turlough> No, to clean off your dog.

<^^K9^^> Master, I have solved that problem, please step away.

* Eighth_Doctor wrinkles his nose at K9

<Eighth_Doctor> Yes. Let's see if we can find one.

                                    *****

* GraceProctor hears the bleeping of the tracker and goes to investigate

<GraceProctor> Derek, Garvin, get yer scrawny rears in here!

* Stock_Henchman_Derek stumbles untidily in, carrying a bottle of Romulan
  ale.

<Stock_Henchman_Derek> Garvin'sh a bit shoshed.

* GraceProctor grabs the bottle from Derek

<Stock_Henchman_Derek> Hey, thatsh mine!

<GraceProctor> Not while we have work to do.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek clumsily grabs for the bottle.

* GraceProctor grabs it quicker

<GraceProctor> You can have it back later...and besides, you can't be seen
               with this, you doof!

* Stock_Henchman_Derek swears fluently in Venusian.

<GraceProctor> Look at the monitor from the tracker.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek looks blearily at the monitor.

<Stock_Henchman_Derek> Ish flashing and pretty.

* GraceProctor slaps Derek

* Stock_Henchman_Derek staggers back.

<GraceProctor> Gods, that is the last time I let them assign you to me!
               I don't think these readings are human!

* Stock_Henchman_Derek rubs his cheek resentfully.

* Goodefellow punches a button from her underground lab and calls Grace's
  hidden comm

<Goodefellow> Grace! What are you bunglers doing with the specimens?
              Playing ring-around-the-rosy?!

<GraceProctor> Goodefellow, just get here, you twit!

* Stock_Henchman_Derek starts singing a little song about butterflies.

* Goodefellow harrumphs and goes to join Grace

* GraceProctor pushes Derek away

<GraceProctor> Go get some coffee and sober up. I need your good aim.

* GraceProctor points to the monitor again

* Goodefellow runs up behind Grace and whispers:

<Goodefellow> They have to be human; what *else* could they be?

<GraceProctor> Well, I don't think the high government sent anyone else
               here, and it's not unlikely that another government sent
               their own research teams.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek wanders over to the sideboard, flips out a
  concealed coffee maker and pours a cup.
* Stock_Henchman_Derek gargles the coffee.

* George_Garvin begins to get a splitting headache

<GraceProctor> Why don't we go play the gracious Amish hosts, my friends?

* GraceProctor gets out of the chair, straightens her dress and ties the
  white hat on

* Goodefellow smirks

<Goodefellow> I'll prepare a room.

                                    *****

* Turlough is walking up to a large Georgian Four Square house

<Turlough> Doctor - what is the significance of that round painting on the
           side of the house?

* Eighth_Doctor looks around at the house

<Eighth_Doctor> Ah, that must be the Amish Hex. Signs to ward off evil
                spirits.

* Eighth_Doctor peers closer

<Eighth_Doctor> Pennsylvania Dutch, rather.

<Turlough> Ah. I didn't think that humans were superstitious. Stupid,
           maybe, but not superstitious.

* Eighth_Doctor glances sharply at Turlough and goes up to the door
* Eighth_Doctor raps

* ^^K9^^ rolls over to the two, clean

* Turlough sees K9
* Turlough whispers to K9:

<Turlough> Good, I'm glad you've cleaned up!

* ^^K9^^ wags his mechanical tail

* GraceProctor comes out of the back room and sees people

<GraceProctor> Greetings, traveler.

<Eighth_Doctor> Greetings!

* Eighth_Doctor smiles charmingly

<Eighth_Doctor> I'm the Doctor and this is Turlough.

* Turlough waves cautiously

<GraceProctor> Can I help ye with something? Mayhaps a quilt?

* Eighth_Doctor grins widely

<Eighth_Doctor> Quilts are exactly what we were looking for --

<^^K9^^> Master...

* GraceProctor nods to all and looks quizzically at K9

<GraceProctor> Machinery? Demons!!!

<Eighth_Doctor> No no no, no demons.

<GraceProctor> Will you please remove that from my house!

* Goodefellow comes out from the 'kitchen'

<Goodefellow> Who are these strangers, Sister Grace?

<Eighth_Doctor> He's really quite harmless. I dabble a bit...inventions,
                you know.

* ^^K9^^ rolls up to them and wags his tail

<GraceProctor> I do not believe in such things.

* George_Garvin frowns

<George_Garvin> Remove it yourself or I will remove it.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek appears from the back room, fixing his hat.

* Eighth_Doctor sighs and glances quickly at Turlough

<Turlough> Okay, Doctor, I'll take him for a walk.

* Turlough takes off his tie and ties it around K9's neck

<Turlough> Come along, K9, we'll look around the town.

<^^K9^^> Affirmative, Master.

* ^^K9^^ rolls off with Turlough

* Eighth_Doctor smiles at Grace

<GraceProctor> Thank you, good sir, I'm just not comfortable with
               machinery...it's against God.

                                    *****

* Turlough goes back outside the house to look at the "hex sign"

<Turlough> K9, ever have a feeling of deja vu?

<^^K9^^> Query. What is "deja vu"?

<Turlough> It's the feeling that you've been somewhere, done something,
           seen something before. Would you analyze that "hex sign" please?
           The illustration on it looks so strangely familiar...

<^^K9^^> Analyzing... Analysis completed. Could not get clear reading.

<Turlough> Not a clear reading? It's supposed to be wood.

<^^K9^^> Hex pattern shielded.

<Turlough> Shielded? With the technology of this time zone? With people
           who don't go for "modern conveniences"? K9 - have you ever
           heard the expression "There's something fishy in the state of
           Denmark"?

<^^K9^^> Memory banks indicate it.

<Turlough> Yes, well, up to now, I never understood the expression. It's
           making more sense now.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek appears at the door and glares at Turlough and K9.

<^^K9^^> Danger, Master!

* Turlough sees Derek out of the corner of his eye

<Turlough> Well, let's not lollygag about, let's see the rest of the
           village.

<^^K9^^> Affirmative.

* Turlough leads K9 down the street

* ^^K9^^ rolls along

* Stock_Henchman_Derek moves out of the doorway and begins discreetly
  trailing Turlough and the dog.

                                    *****

<Eighth_Doctor> About the quilts, Miss...er...?

<GraceProctor> Oh yes... if you come with me I can show you a selection.

* GraceProctor takes the people to a room to the side

* Eighth_Doctor follows the woman

<Eighth_Doctor> Forgive me. I didn't mean to offend you.

* Goodefellow sighs

<Goodefellow> Thank you sir...what did you say your name was?

<Eighth_Doctor> I'm the Doctor. And you are...?

<Goodefellow> Sister Charity Goodfellow.

<Eighth_Doctor> Pleasure to meet you. And your family...?

* Eighth_Doctor glances around, wondering about the others

* GraceProctor opens a cedar chest

<GraceProctor> These, good sir, are the ones I have recently finished and
               are unpromised to anyone.

* GraceProctor takes out a few quilts and displays them on the bed

* Goodefellow nods at Grace and the chest

<Goodefellow> These are some of our best work.

<GraceProctor> As you can see, this one is a wedding ring design with
               interchanging colors of blue and pink.

* Eighth_Doctor looks at the quilts

<Eighth_Doctor> Very lovely.

* Goodefellow peers at the Doctor's hands.

<Goodefellow> It is pleasing to do an honest day's work in the Lord's
              sight.

* Eighth_Doctor glances at his soft hands

<Eighth_Doctor> Yes, it is.

* GraceProctor wonders what these non-humans are doing here

<GraceProctor> This one has down in between to make it warmer.

* Eighth_Doctor directs his gaze to Grace

<Eighth_Doctor> Did you sew these?

<GraceProctor> Yes, me and my siblings work from dawn to dusk. The Lord
               smiles upon our work and blesses us with fine customers as
               yourself.

<Goodefellow> My sister and I did these ourselves.

<Eighth_Doctor> And I again apologize for alarming you. I had no idea
                you'd consider machinery demons.

<GraceProctor> All is forgiven, good sir.

* Eighth_Doctor regards Grace for a long moment

* GraceProctor notices the Doctor staring at her and makes note of it, but
  continues in her role

* Eighth_Doctor turns and smiles at the other

<Eighth_Doctor> Are there more quilts in this community? I would love to
                see more.

<GraceProctor> Yes, but none of them are as grand as mine.

<Goodefellow> May we offer you lodging for the night, Doctor?

<Eighth_Doctor> Lodging? Well, we were just passing through.

<GraceProctor> You and your friends are welcome to stay the night. Derek
               is a grand cook.

<Eighth_Doctor> Derek? Oh yes, the fellow I saw earlier...

* Eighth_Doctor recalls he appeared to be a bit intoxicated

<Goodefellow> Oh, you must let us extend our fellowship towards our fellow
              men.

* Eighth_Doctor has an urge to see the rest of the house

<Eighth_Doctor> Well, you may have talked me into it... This is an
                interesting house. Such unusual architecture.

<GraceProctor> My grandda built it with his own two hands. Like I said,
               the Lord has blessed my family greatly.

<Eighth_Doctor> Really? It's more... decorative than I might have expected.

<Goodefellow> The architecture tells the story of our people, if you know
              how to interpret it.

* Eighth_Doctor fixes Charity with a look

<Eighth_Doctor> I'm sure it does.

* Eighth_Doctor gestures towards the door to the rest of the house

<Eighth_Doctor> May I...?

<GraceProctor>  NO!!!

* Eighth_Doctor stops short

<GraceProctor> I mean, that is our private chapel. Only one of our kind
               may step upon the sacred grounds.

<Eighth_Doctor> Oh, I see.

* Eighth_Doctor quickly moves to another door and yanks it open

<Eighth_Doctor> And this must be...?

* Eighth_Doctor finds himself looking down a long narrow hall

<GraceProctor> Oh, this is nothing, sir, but our bedding rooms.

<Goodefellow> And men are not... permitted in the women's rooms. Please
              make yourself at home here, Doctor, but let us have the
              duty of showing you around, please.

* GraceProctor takes the Doctor's arm.

<GraceProctor> Why don't you have some stew?

<Goodefellow> I made it just this afternoon.

<GraceProctor> Charity is an excellent cook, her stews are sought after.

* Eighth_Doctor's face remains impassive as he allows himself to be led

                                    *****

* Turlough feels a bit ridiculous leading a metal dog with a tie as a leash

<^^K9^^> Master?

<Turlough> Yes? I'd prefer if you called me Turlough, though.

<^^K9^^> Sensors indicate we are being followed.

<Turlough> I keep expecting the man in black to arrive. Damn. Do you
           think we can lose him discreetly?

<^^K9^^> T-t-t-t-t...Master. There is a building containing metal tools
         ahead.

<Turlough> Well, at least you tried.

* Turlough heads for the building
* Turlough sees it is a hardware store

<Turlough> Hmmmmm.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek spies Turlough and the dog looking at the hardware
  store.
* Stock_Henchman_Derek wonders if his rotary sander is in yet.

<^^K9^^> Tu-tu-tuster, I advise we go in.

* Turlough slips inside, pulling K9 behind him

<Turlough> K9, why can't you say my name?

<^^K9^^> System drives...near overloading.

* Turlough is a little worried about K9's behavior
* Turlough moves further into the store to stand by the wood-burning stoves

* ^^K9^^ rolls over behind Turlough

* Stock_Henchman_Derek bursts through the door.

<^^K9^^> Danger, Tur-Tur-Turter!

<Turlough> Ah, not good.

<Stock_Henchman_Derek> What're you doing in here?

<Turlough> Well, I thought I'd shop around a bit.

* Stock_Henchman_Derek grabs a pitchfork from the wall.

<Turlough> Looking for a new - ah!

<Stock_Henchman_Derek> You shouldn't be in here.

<^^K9^^> Danger! Danger!

* Turlough moves away quickly

<Turlough> K9 - anytime you want to stun him is okay with me!

* Turlough backs up against the wall

* ^^K9^^ moves his laser out

* Stock_Henchman_Derek thinks these people are here to interfere.

* ^^K9^^ fires

* Turlough sees the stun ray have no effect

<Turlough> K9, why didn't it work?

* Stock_Henchman_Derek watches the charge dissipate on the fork.

* ^^K9^^ fires again

* Stock_Henchman_Derek pokes K9 with the fork.

<^^K9^^> Danger! Danger! Danger! Dan-g--e---r...

* ^^K9^^ blips out and starts repair mode

* Turlough watches the pitch fork come close to him next

* Stock_Henchman_Derek lunges for Turlough with the fork.

::ending credits for first episode::

::to be continued!::

---

notes for future reference!

<GraceProctor> So do the villians already have the zoological tracker or
               do we have to get it?

<Turlough> It's still on the house

<GraceProctor> ok i scrolled back and i got it now...the aliens are nice
               right? and they want the Doctor to get thier tracking device
               back from the villians right?

<Turlough> The Aliens are evil - they have the tracker on a house to
           monitor all the human life there and see what makes them tick.
           Doc and co will end up taking it down and then the chase begins