31 January 1998 Doctor Who - The Diva Takes a Dive aka The Diva of Doom starring the eighth Doctor and Bernice Summerfield DrGrace (judiang@idt.net) - Eighth_Doctor Haem (haem@lys.vnet.net) - Seth_G, Amplifiers, Audience, OperaFan, Other_Opera_Fans Jefferys (eng@netaxs.com) - Conductor_, Orchestra_ Meliphyre (meliphyre@aol.com) - LucyC SukiF (drdove@psi.net) - Audience_Member, Henchy_Manderberg trinalin (trinalin@earthlink.net) - Bernice, Stage_Hand -------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Eighth_Doctor exits the TARDIS backstage at a playhouse in London We are at the Albert Hall, I believe. * Bernice lingers in the TARDIS looking for her journal and camera * Bernice wants to get some photos of the theatre, which is long since fallen to pieces by her time * Bernice steps out of the TARDIS * Bernice is impressed with the size of the Albert Hall Wow! You could get an awful lot of holes in here! Rehearsals for Madame Butterfly, it looks like. * Conductor_ falls into the pit. * Eighth_Doctor sticks his hands in pockets and wanders about * Eighth_Doctor hears a commotion from the direction of the pit Oh, I can't belive you fell in the pit and the show's in 2 days! * Conductor_ gets up on his feet. Honestly, Peter. Well, I'm sorry dear, but they really have to get better stairs in this place. * Eighth_Doctor walks away absently humming a aria * Bernice takes photos of the Hall * LucyC yells to Bernice Excuse me?! * Bernice turns off the flash and uses a better F-stop * Bernice yells to the woman on the stage "Sorry!" Well, we just have to make do for now. Now where were we...pick back up the second score, third measure. This has to be perfect in order to work. * Conductor_ opens up the score. Papers fly everywhere. Peter!! * Conductor_ hurriedly picks up the scattered parchments. Sorry. * LucyC gets in Conductor's face I brought you on this mission. Don't let me down! * Eighth_Doctor takes a seat in the back, waving Benny over * Bernice wanders around the hall, not knowing that the Doctor has called her over * Seth_G grins at the man that just sat down a few rows behind him * Seth_G is a huge fan of Lucy's and attends all her performances * Eighth_Doctor steeples his fingers and waits for the score to begin ***** * Bernice takes more photos - most fascinating artwork on the walls * Bernice sees a door that's quite ornate. She decides to see what lies behind it * Bernice was thinking how much this reminds her of an opera version of The Heart of Sogguth * Bernice opens the ornate door Hmmmm - hasn't anyone ever heard about incandescent lighting before? * Bernice reaches into her pack for her electric torch ***** * Conductor_ gets everything in order and signals to the orchestra. * Orchestra_ begins. * LucyC starts practicing again * LucyC cracks on the high note Yuk. * Eighth_Doctor cringes. Oh dear. * Seth_G claps anyway * LucyC acknowledges the fan's clap with a slight bow * Seth_G is overjoyed that Lucy just BOWED to him! Wow! Too bad she's not up to it. I helped compose some of this part. * Orchestra_ stops Let's do the last score again, I should be properly warmed up now. * Conductor_ raises his baton and conducts the orchestra again. * LucyC sings the last line and hits it perfectly this time * Seth_G hums along to the music * LucyC winks at Seth, the audience member * Seth_G looks around him to see who Lucy's winking at * Eighth_Doctor waves to the diva * LucyC wonders who the weird guy in the out-of-date suit is but continues to smile at Seth ***** * Bernice shines the light around the room * Bernice notices something shiny in the torchbeam * Bernice moves closer to it * Bernice is surprised - it looks like a communicator that wouldn't be out of place on Dellah * Bernice thinks she'd better tell the Doctor about this * Bernice moves away from the communication console and heads for the door she came in * Henchy_Manderberg slowly tiptoes behind this snoopy Bernice * Bernice thinks she sees a movement in the shadows, but hopes it's merely her imagination * Henchy_Manderberg hides from Benny's sight and strokes his handlebar mustache * Bernice shivers as she leaves the room * Henchy_Manderberg lurks closer to Benny * Bernice grasps her torch like a weapon and spins around fast * Bernice sees the ugly mug of Henchy Manderberg and nearly screams * Henchy_Manderberg dives at Benny Hahahaha! You thought you could get away from Henchy, did you! * Bernice moves to one side, but in the process loses her balance and hits her head on a wall * Bernice succumbs to unconsciousness Hahahah! You didn't know my middle name, did you, deary? It's Hench "Lucky" Manderberg! * Henchy_Manderberg scoops Benny up and takes her back stage ***** * LucyC rehearses the dying scene * Eighth_Doctor mutters Oh no! Much too dramatic. I'm tired. Can we go ahead and call it a day, Pete? * Conductor_ dismisses the musicians. * Seth_G sees that Lucy is heading backstage, and hops out of his seat to try and intercept her * LucyC grabs a bottle of water on the way back stage * Conductor_ gathers the score under his arm and heads out of the pit. * Eighth_Doctor rises and heads towards the stage * Eighth_Doctor waylays the Conductor Excuse me, conductor? * Conductor_ looks at the Doctor. What do you want? I was just listening to your conducting of this splendid opera and I couldn't help noticing a few things...for instance, in the second bridge, the key was a bit off... In fact, the entire score seemed a bit off. It's not the way I remember at all. This was only a rehearsal. I really don't have time to discuss technicalities. Ahhh, so this will be corrected during the show? Surely her voice won't crack when she has to sing so unnecessarily high. She was just a little nervous, that's all. * Eighth_Doctor smiles charmingly Of course she is. She's new on the boards, you mean? * Eighth_Doctor notices the Conductor seems a bit nervous Listen, I don't have time to stand here yapping; I have to get ready for the upcoming performance. Yes, I understand. Could I go backstage and cheer the lady on? * Eighth_Doctor watches the Conductor scurry off * Eighth_Doctor turns and heads backstage to look for the diva ***** * Audience_Member looks around the Hall and decides to wander in Wooo! The Dead sure are movin' on up in venue. * Audience_Member digs his hands in his pockets and strools around the hall * Audience_Member looks at a sign with a picture of a female opera singer Whoa! That chick looks like Joplin! Far out, man...she can wail! * Audience_Member enters a room with a lot of empty chairs and a stage Cool... I'm here before anyone else...think I'll crash before the show. * Audience_Member lays down in a couple of chairs and falls asleep ***** * Seth_G finds his way into the corridors backstage and starts looking for Lucy * Seth_G spies Lucy about to enter her dressing room Hey! Uh - Lucy! * LucyC spins around * Seth_G jogs up to Lucy Can I help you? * LucyC recognizes the guy from the audience I just wanted to tell you...you are the best singer that I've ever heard. Oh, well, thank you. I'm flattered! I've been to everything you've done. Really? * LucyC sees the potential in this guy Could you ever use any guitar backup? 'Cause, I play sometimes. Well, I'm not sure the opera uses a lot of guitar. * Seth_G grins Yeah, I know that...but other stuff. You do sing other stuff, right? Occasionally. But opera is my specialty. Oh. Well, yeah, okay. It was a pleasure meeting you. What was your name? Me? I'm Seth. Seth Green. * LucyC leans into Seth's face * Seth_G leans back a bit So tell me, what other kind of music do you like? I, uh...play in a band. Mild rock, that kind of thing. * LucyC escorts Seth into her dressing room So tell me, Seth, do you know this song? * LucyC starts singing Last Train to Clarksville Oh, yeah, man! * Seth_G sings along * Seth_G suddenly starts feeling a little weird * Seth_G quits singing * LucyC hides a grin Whoa, I just got a killer headache. * Eighth_Doctor hears peculiar singing and seeks it out It's OK...what about this song? * LucyC starts singing "I'm a Believer" * Seth_G doesn't even bother singing, because he's feeling REALLY weird now. * Seth_G speaks in a French accent I mock you with my monkey pants! * Seth_G turns stoney-faced Very good. Keep mocking. * Eighth_Doctor meanders around, suddenly stops and listens for the voices again * LucyC starts singing "Daydream Believer" * Seth_G is now firmly under Lucy's enchantment * Henchy_Manderberg drags Benny to Lucy's dressing room One thing I hate about being a henchman is all the hard labor... ugh! * Henchy_Manderberg knocks on Miss Lucy's door Oh, Miss Lucy...are you in? * LucyC opens the door What do you want? I'm busy. * Henchy_Manderberg hurries in, dragging Benny behind him By all the gods of the purple sun! * Eighth_Doctor listens hard for singing but hears nothing * Eighth_Doctor continues walking, trying to remember where the dressing rooms are Madame, I found this lurking around the dressing room. Lurking about? I thaught you had this place protected? Well, I thought she might be a fashion victim from Opera Today Magazine... you know them. * LucyC shakes her head She's not wearing enough make-up... I'm sorry, madame... it's just my wife called and insisted I pick up groceries before I come home. She must have slipped by. I knew when I became a henchman marrige was out of the question. But you know love, haha. Enough! * Henchy_Manderberg pouts We could put her in the closet...she looks like she's been out of it long enough, hehehehe. * Eighth_Doctor turns down a corridor and sees a row of closed doors with nameplates Ah, dressing rooms finally! Well, what do you want, oh most beautiful one? * LucyC opens the door to her closet It's small, but she should fit. We could always undress her! * Hency_Manderberg gives an evil Crud-like grin Her clothes do look bulky, eh?! She's a fashion disaster. * Eighth_Doctor walks down the corridor and hears voices behind one door Ohh, I never get any of the fun. * Seth_G watches, emotionless, as the henchman stuffs Benny into the closet * Eighth_Doctor knocks Oh, purple cows! Quick, get her in there!!! * Henchy_Manderberg hurries up and finishes putting Benny in the closet * Eighth_Doctor waits and knocks again * LucyC points to Seth You, sit down and flip through a magazine or something. * Seth_G sits down on Lucy's couch and flips through "Modern Bride" Hello? Do you expect me to get the door, madame? * Eighth_Doctor knocks I'll get it. Good...I'd just hate to feel I'm not used enough around here. * LucyC opens the door Oh, hello. * Eighth_Doctor smiles charmingly * LucyC smiles equally as charmingly Hello. * Henchy_Manderberg eyes this dreamboat that just entered...he bets his Estrogen Brigade would be bigger than his! Grrrr... Oh look... another fashion victim. * LucyC steps on Henchy's toe Owch! * Henchy_Manderberg hops around on one foot, the other foot in his hand I was just in the audience listening to your rehearsal. * Seth_G looks up So was I. Isn't she wonderful. * Eighth_Doctor notices Seth's rather dazed look Yes, she was...er...beyond words. * Seth_G looks back down at "Modern Bride" Yes, well, while usually I love all this flattery, I must really be off. I need to rehearse. Thank you very much. Already? Well, er...Miss...er...? Lucy. * LucyC holds out her hand Lucy. I'm called the Doctor. I'd like to say, break a leg, then. I thought break a leg was for theatre? Mr Knowitall? * LucyC steps on Henchy's other foot Oh madame, you know pain makes me think of you! Ahhhhhh! And I *love* thinking of you. * Henchy_Manderberg bats his eyelashes at Lucy * Eighth_Doctor gazes at Henchy. Hmmmm. We'll talk about this later, Henchy. Oh yes, my dear... * Eighth_Doctor smiles at Lucy. Fans... * Stage_Hand walks down the hallway, rapping on doors 15 minutes to curtain! OK, everyone out out out. I must prepare. * Eighth_Doctor arches a brow and steps back into the corridor Can I help you, Lucy. * Stage_Hand bangs on the Conductor's door 15 minutes! * LucyC yells to the stage hand OK!!!! Enough already! * Stage_Hand raps on other doors in the hallway 15 minutes! Like I said, I have a performance to prepare for. * LucyC waves to the Doctor then shuts the door * Stage_Hand bats the Doctor out of the hallway Please, sir, get to your seat now, performance is in 12 minutes. Yes, I understand. I was just saying to the conductor about the wrong key - * Eighth_Doctor finds himself hustled into the hall Ah, if you think you have the wrong key, sir, we can have another made for you. * Stage_Hand waves bye to the man and heads back to the hallways 10 minutes! * Stage_Hand bangs on doorways 10 minutes to curtain! * Eighth_Doctor ponders for a minute and chases after the stage hand I say! * Stage_Hand sighs * Stage_Hand turns around to the Doctor I'm sorry, sir, but these people have to get ready. They don't need screaming fanboys distracting them. Excuse me, have you seen a young woman, about yay high? * Stage_Hand looks to see how high yay is Nope, sorry. She has brown mid-length hair - * Stage_Hand turns back to the hallway 10 minutes! * Stage_Hand pushes his way through the now filling hallway as performers leave their nests 10 minutes to curtain! * Eighth_Doctor sighs * Eighth_Doctor heads back to the seats ***** * Henchy_Manderberg looks in the audience * Audience_Member snores in the back row seats Heh heh, I'm rather glad I gave my wife tickets to this opera... * Henchy_Manderberg goes back to keep an eye on the closet ***** * Conductor_ steps up to the podium and opens up the score. Papers fly everywhere. * Conductor_ falls into the pit again. I must remember to watch my step next time. * Eighth_Doctor heads into the audience, searching for an empty seat * Eighth_Doctor pushes his way through. Excuse me, sir. Oh, sorry ma'am, didn't realize... * Audience_Member suddenly wakes up as he notices people filing in Oh man.. I overslept! Now I haven't got a good spot! Darn it... oh well... back here no one will notice my Mary Jane...wooooo! * Audience_Member rolls a doobie * Eighth_Doctor finds no empty seats on the floor and heads up to the boxes * Orchestra_ tunes. ***** * LucyC smiles at Seth * Seth_G looks at Lucy, expressionless Now listen to me, Dahling, I need for you to do a very special task for me. Anything for you, Lucy. Do you see those boxes? * LucyC points to the boxes in a corner * Seth_G looks at the boxes I see the boxes. Very good. There is one for every corner of the balcony and for every box seat. * Seth_G nods slowly I want you to place them in the areas. Then sit down and enjoy me. I will do this for you. Good. * LucyC opens the door and shooes Seth out * Seth_G fetches the boxes and walks out of the dressing room * LucyC checks her hair in the mirror ***** * Bernice wakes up and notices that it's pitch black and that she has a headache that Dave Stone would be proud of * Bernice worries that maybe she's lost her sight * Bernice then remembers that she's not yet opened her eyes Damn, it's still pitch black. * Bernice notices a crack of light. She peers through the crack to see what looks like a dressing room, and that goon that jumped her in the first place * Bernice wonders how she'll get out without alerting the goon ***** * Audience_Member looks at his tickets Man, that guy on the street corner better have given me the right tickets... course, I guess I shouldn't go for Dead tickets to my dealer. * Audience_Member lights up * Eighth_Doctor finds a seat in a dark empty box and sits * Seth_G moves to the back of the Hall and begins setting up amplifiers in the places Lucy indicated * Eighth_Doctor scans the audience for Benny ***** * Stage_Hand bangs on the Prima Donna's door 5 minutes! I'm coming, I'm coming! You're needed toot sweet, toots! * LucyC checkes the kimono one last time and rushes backstage * Stage_Hand wanders on down the hallway, yelling "5 minutes!" ***** * Eighth_Doctor notices Seth placing strange boxes around the hall * Audience_Member creates a commotion in the audience by offering some dude a puff on his roach Woah! Sorry man! I'll just offer it to that chick with the crown over there, hehehehehe. * Seth_G finds his seat, having finished setting up all of the amplifiers * LucyC peeks through the curtain and spies Seth sitting down * Seth_G neglects to smile at the Doctor, who is sitting beside him - just stares straight ahead * Eighth_Doctor glances at Seth * LucyC hears the overture begin Hello. Wonderful crowd tonight. * Eighth_Doctor watches Seth, who remains immobile I said, wonderful crowd tonight! Yes. Wonderful crowd. Listen, she's about to start. * Conductor_ gives the signal to Lucy * LucyC begins to sing * Seth_G begins to smile Hmmm, I see she's still singing offkey... Heeyyyy, wait a sec... who's opening this show? * Audience_Member listens... Man! This is opera! Ewwwww! * Seth_G pulls out a little silver pad and taps at it * Amplifiers activate Yuk! I feel like the time my uncle took me to a polka jamboree. * Audience_Member looks at the guy next to him sitting stock still She gettin' to you too, eh? Though she might be good heading Jefferson Airplane. * LucyC hits a particuarly high note * Eighth_Doctor shudders at the too loud note. * Seth_G closes his eyes as the voice of control echoes in his head You know... I think that guy gave me some bum tickets... or some bum weed! Ahhhh! ***** * Bernice hears a ringing in her ears and she's not sure if it's from the music or from her headache * Bernice notices the goon moving closer to the closet and feigns unconsciousness * Henchy_Manderberg swings the closet doors open * Bernice notices the door has been opened and tries to gauge how to escape Hiya sweetheart... I'm gonna turn you into Twiggy after I'm done with you! Hahahaha! * Henchy_Manderberg scoops up Benny * Henchy_Manderberg sits her in one of Lucy's chairs * Henchy_Manderberg digs in the closet for the right outfit * Bernice gets up from the chair while Henchy's at the closet I think blue might be your color. * Bernice runs to the door to find it locked * Bernice uses the torch to bash at the doorknob * Henchy_Manderberg spins around, a pink angora sweater in his hands Hey! * Bernice looks in a panic at the goon * Bernice bangs on the door again to have it opened by a Stage Hand * Henchy_Manderberg runs over to Benny and pulls the angora over her eyes * Henchy_Manderberg pulls Benny back to the closet Hee hee... I've pulled the *angora* over your eyes! Hee hee, get it?! Hey, what's going on here? You aren't supposed to be in the Diva's dressing room! And what are you doing that to that lady? Huh? * Henchy_Manderberg turns around and looks at the stage hand * Stage_Hand thinks about someone mentioning a brunette gone missing Ahhhh! Ahhhh! This is my, ummm...wife. * Bernice takes the distraction to get the shirt off her head and get further away from the Henchman Oh sweetheart... you just *love* to play these sorts of games! Get the Doctor! Fast! Wait! Call Lucy! She knows who I am! And I'm not this creep's wife! Oh sweetheart! Our marriage isn't that bad! * Stage_Hand falters * Stage_Hand isn't sure what to do * Stage_Hand has seen the Henchman before, but didn't know he was married, and certainly not to some knockout like this woman Call Lucy! She's my boss... really! * Henchy_Manderberg gives the stage hand his card See, it says I'm a bodyguard. Oh, wait...wrong card. * Henchy_Manderberg grabs the card back * Henchy_Manderberg hides the HenchMen R Us card in his wallet * Bernice makes her way to the entrance of the room * Bernice kicks the Henchman in the shin Ack! * Henchy_Manderberg falls over! * Stage_Hand watches as the brunette runs out of the room I'm divorcing you now! * Henchy_Manderberg chases after Benny * Stage_Hand gets pushed down by the henchman as he runs after her Come back here, you! * Stage_Hand decides it's about time to change professions again * Bernice runs out to the stage * Bernice is temporarily blinded by the lights and then composes herself enough to hide behind some scenery Oh well, bugger this... she doesn't pay me enough to go on stage...I get stage fright. * Henchy_Manderberg sneaks out of the theatre ***** * Eighth_Doctor peers into a corner and notices a small box that wasn't there before * Eighth_Doctor glances at Seth, who is immobile * Orchestra_ stops. * Eighth_Doctor rises quietly and investigates the box An amplifier? In this place? * Eighth_Doctor touches the box and notices an odd vibration emanating from it Odd frequency for an amplifier.... * Eighth_Doctor opens up a side panel and disables it * Eighth_Doctor moves to check out the other amplifiers * Seth_G sees that the Doctor poses a threat to the completion of the plan * Seth_G slips out of his seat and pursues the Doctor * Eighth_Doctor notices on the way that the audience is becoming zombie-like * Eighth_Doctor arrives at the third amplifier and disables it * LucyC concentrates on getting the pitch perfect * Seth_G grabs the Doctor's right shoulder Do not tamper with the devices. * Seth_G leans forward and re-activates the amplifier * Eighth_Doctor swivels around * Eighth_Doctor leans back and disables it again Do you know what you are doing? Of course. Do not tamper with the devices. * Seth_G walks away to check that the Doctor has not deactivated the other amplifiers This is mass brainwashing, man! You are being controlled by this Lucy! * LucyC notices the Doctor tampering with the boxes * LucyC wonders why the Doctor person was not affected * LucyC sings louder * Seth_G finds that the Doctor deactivated the second amplifier, so he reactivates it * Eighth_Doctor pulls out his sonic screwdriver and shorts it out * Seth_G sees that the first amplifier is intact * LucyC looks at the zombies, especially Seth. * Seth_G swivels to look at Lucy The man at the boxes!! Stop him!!! * Eighth_Doctor races to the next one and waves the screwdriver at it too * Seth_G stalks after the Doctor as other audience members stand up and join him * Conductor_ runs over to the Doctor. Get him, get him, get him! * Eighth_Doctor turns the screwdriver as high as it will go and waves it in the air, shorting out all the closest boxes Noooooooooo! * Seth_G leaps forward and tackles the Doctor * Eighth_Doctor fells Seth with some Venusian aikido * Seth_G lies on the ground, unconscious Well, my other self might not have been so bad after all... * Conductor_ tackles the Doctor. * Eighth_Doctor is knocked off balance and falls * Audience rushes the Doctor all at once * Audience_Member sits in his seat, looking strangely at everyone Woah! There's more in this pot than I thought! * Seth_G is hefted off the floor by one of the audience members and carried back to the front of the Hall Here, dude...have a smoke. You look like you need it. * Audience_Member gives Seth a joint * Eighth_Doctor tries to get to his feet * Eighth_Doctor is hefted also and passed to the stage * LucyC walks to the orchestra pit Peter! What is going on? * Bernice finally gets used to the lighting and notices the audience is all behaving weirdly Man, this place needs to chill out. * Eighth_Doctor is dumped on the stage at Lucy's feet * Bernice sees the Doctor get dumped on the stage * Eighth_Doctor slowly rises and straightens his cravat ***** * Bernice notices one audience member who isn't following along with the others * Audience_Member looks at the empty stage Woooo, I'm gonna do something my heart is telling me to do. * Audience_Member sneaks up on the stage and grabs a mic * Audience_Member giggles This stuff is actually pretty good, heeheeheehee! * Audience_Member talks into the mic Hello everyone! Woooooo! * Bernice moves silently behind the set pieces on the stage toward the audience member who isn't affected like the others * Conductor_ notices the audience member on stage. * Audience_Member dances on stage to some tune in his head You know folks, I'm gonna sing a rough song to you... because I like it rough... Too bad Ike couldn't be here with me today to sing this song... * Conductor_ gets into the pit and orders the orchestra to do a rendition of "Trucking". "Rollin'... rollin'... rollin' down the river!" * Bernice taps the stoned Audience Member on the shoulder "I left a good job in the city... workin' for the man every night and..." * Audience_Member turns around Yeah? * Bernice whispers "hi" Why aren't you following along with the rest of the drones, then? Like, I just swing to my own drummer, man... not like these stiffs... I've always said, it's not pot that corrupts your mind... it's women who shriek in high voices. ***** * LucyC notices by now the orchestra has stopped * Seth_G slowly stirs in the seat where he has been placed * Seth_G staggers out of his seat, and he and the rest of the audience cluster around the stage and stare up at Lucy What are you doing on my stage, Doctor? Hello, we've met before. Yes, but that does not give you call to be on my stage. * Eighth_Doctor motions at the audience. Apparently, they want me here. * LucyC looks at her adoring subjects Get him off. * Audience begins clambering onstage to pull the Doctor off Can't you get fans a better way other than hypnosis? There might still be openings in music school for better singing lessons. Fans? * LucyC chuckles Oh, my dear Doctor, my ambitions are higher than mere fans! Yes, I know. Sing in just the right key and the masses come to you. * LucyC raises an eyebrow The original was a step too high. And the "amplifiers" are rather primitive, don't you think? * OperaFan grabs the Doctor's arm and begins tugging on it Very good, my darlings. Get rid of this non-opera worshiper. * Eighth_Doctor glances at Opera Fan. * OperaFan pulls harder Please, this jacket is special to me. Lucy wants you off the stage. And Doctor, your coat is just a wee bit primitive, too. * Other_Opera_Fans join in trying to get the Doctor offstage Please, there is room enough for the two of us! This is MY stage, Doctor! And there is only room for me! And what have you done with Benny? * Other_Opera_Fans finally lift the Doctor off the ground and carry him towards the steps Hey! * Other_Opera_Fans bear the struggling Doctor aloft What has the world of opera come to? * Other_Opera_Fans chant: Lucy wants you off the stage... * Conductor_ moves over to Lucy. Nice of you to make an apearance, Petey. Well, I think we should worry about the young man on the stage. ***** By the way... want a joint? A joint? As in marijuana? * Bernice thinks she has the lingo right You know... a doobie! Mary Jane... or what *The Man* calls it, marijuana. * Bernice has an idea... Yes, I'll have one, thanks. * Audience_Member offers her one I gotta get rid of this batch before I go back to the States... so I'm sorta giving to the needy, hehehehe. * Bernice takes the roll and moves off toward the audience members holding the Doctor * Bernice thinks about what the stoned person said * Bernice moves back Do you have more of this? Yeah! Sure, man! * Audience_Member takes his knapsack and empties out bags of weed You know... I shouldn't have gotten it in bulk. I was only gonna be here for a few days, but it was so darn cheap! * Bernice wonders if she can get close enough to the Doctor to ask him if marijuana would reverse the effect of whatever this is that's happened * Eighth_Doctor glances around frantically and spots Benny * Bernice waves to the Doctor, still trying not to be seen by anyone else * Eighth_Doctor nods at Benny and hollers: Yes! Yes! Oh purple cows in heaven of the purple sun!!! That stuff... it'll reverse the effects, won't it? * LucyC runs after Benny * LucyC can't seem to spot Benny or the high audience member * Bernice notices the fat broad in the dress is suddenly in motion * Other_Opera_Fans finally reach the stairs * Bernice quickly drops to the ground and pours the weed in a pile Peter, find it!!! Our plans are coming undone!!! * Audience_Member sneaks up to Lucy and blows a puff of smoke in Lucy's face * LucyC coughs and waves the smoke away Man, you look like that chick from the Mamas and the Papas. * Bernice takes out some of the Doctors everlight matches and lights the pile * Bernice coughs at the smoke * Eighth_Doctor cranes his neck and watches as he is still held aloft * Seth_G hacks as the smoke quickly reaches him * Bernice notices some of the audience members near her start to come out of their trance * Seth_G falls back into the audience members around him, who are also collapsing * Conductor_ kicks the pile before it catches fire. * Bernice smiles at the Conductor, knowing that it's too late * Bernice smiles at the piece of scenery that she's standing next to, as well * Bernice coughs some more * Other_Opera_Fans are affected by the smoke, and cough a couple of times before releasing the Doctor and falling to the ground * Eighth_Doctor finds himself dropping at the audience begins to cough * Eighth_Doctor drops to the floor deftly * LucyC spots the fire Peter!!! We must go now. You know... I bet you could head up your own band. It'd be SOOOOO groovy. Peter?!! * Audience_Member shrugs Fine... don't listen to me. I'm sorry. My plan to take over the world has just failed. I don't care what you're talking about! Woah! I'm late for a bash at my pal's crib... Woah! I mean flat... gotta start using that brit lingo... * Audience_Member puts on his knapsack and hightails it out of there * Conductor_ takes Lucy's arm and runs off the stage. * LucyC follows the Conductor * Bernice sees the Conductor and Lucy moving away * LucyC goes to the communications room for a beam up * Audience is collapsing from whiffs of smoke all over the Hall, Lucy's control being mysteriously broken * Eighth_Doctor darts to Benny's side. * Bernice shakes her head clear and shouts Doctor! They're getting away! Benny, quickly, they are getting away. I think I know where they are heading. * Bernice runs off to the ornate door that she found earlier * Eighth_Doctor follows closely behind * Eighth_Doctor smiles at Benny Good work! * Bernice comes upon the ornate door I think they're in here. Hurry up, they're coming! Quick, Peter, get the code in, you moron! * Bernice breaths the air deeply - no marijuana here to mess with her senses * Conductor_ presses the buttons. * Bernice watches the Doctor throw the door open * LucyC hits the blue button * Eighth_Doctor dashes in Home to the gods of the purple sun and the purple cow! * Bernice watches Lucy and the Conductor disappear * Bernice thinks of having a purple cow - she could just about do with a float * Eighth_Doctor skids to a halt and checks the console Too late. So, where are they heading? To a place with very tacky nature. Really? She wasn't all that good of a singer, then? * Eighth_Doctor looks up at Benny and grins So, what do we do about the pot party onstage? Oh, I suspect it will wear off soon enough. * Seth_G slowly wanders up behind Benny, having somewhat recovered Whoa...what did you guys do back there? Where's Lucy? Oh! Hi! * Bernice waves at Seth Hey. * Seth_G waves sheepishly Um, she just got called away by more adoring fans. * Eighth_Doctor nods at Seth Oh. Too bad. We were gonna play together, y'know? * Seth_G spies a poster of Lucy on the far wall Wow, a picture. Do you think anybody would mind if I took that? Probably not. * Bernice wouldn't mind * Seth_G pulls the poster off the wall Wait 'til Alyson hears about this. Catch you two around, okay? * Eighth_Doctor nods again at Seth Sure - enjoy! * Seth_G tucks the poster under his arm and walks shakily out Fans - I just don't get them. * Eighth_Doctor grins and heads with Benny back to the TARDIS I guess we're both lucky that we don't have fans. ::the end!::