The LABB Encyclopaedia


Welcome, welcome! On this page you will find a listing of commonly-seen, or rather famous, LABB terms. If you're a longtime member, you'll enjoy browsing through them as a trip down memory lane. If you're a new or prospective member, this is a nice way to familiarize yourself with what's gone on before, so you won't be totally confused by something that crops up. (Plus you'll actually know what a sucking chest wound is. Humph.) If you're Brendan, then this could actually be slightly embarrassing, but we hope you enjoy it too! Welcome to our insanity! (Hey, we're not that bad...are we?)


#pendrell IRC chat room in DALnet where some LABB members occasionally gather. There are not yet any specified times for chatting.
500-pound Mouse (aka The Notorious M.O.U.S.E.) The result of a tragic Lab experiment involving a bowlful of Smarties and many kegs of Doof beer. After the escape of this giant rodent, the Lab was in an uproar for days. Luckily he was lured back into his cage with a trail of yet more Smarties. Assumed to be the devourer of the unfortunate and missing Mr. Woo.
Ashley The LABB's first grandbaby! She may belong to Janet, but we all share in the joy through the pictures and stories that Janet sends to the list.
Assassins Rather similar to the Rogue Beiserettes, except instead of defending Brendan, the job of the Assassins is to defend the LABB Queen. (Also see: Seagulls, Alka-Seltzer; Women in Black)
AT&T Commercial Apparently, one of Brendan's acting jobs. Although we know he appears wearing a headset, we have been unable to find out any more information on this appearance. If we even had the airdate, we might be able to acquire a copy through the father of one LabMouse who works for AT&T, but nobody seems willing to divulge even though it is known that someone, at one time, had the commercial in their possession. The AT&T commercial is currently the focus of a subject-title campaign (see Sucking Chest Wound). For more information, visit EnCat's AT&T commercial page.
Avengers The Avenger phenomenon began when some LABB members began disparaging "El Mundo Gira" (see Lurkers), an episode that one member (we won't say who) happens to like quite a bit. Suddenly, LabMice who made bad comments about the episode found themselves being pelted with fungus-infested cashews by an unusual superhero-type figure. The "El Mundo Gira" Avenger was soon joined by the Hanson Avenger, who took it upon him or herself to play "MMMBop" whenever he or she fancied. Most recently, the negative comments elicited by the fifth season premiere resulted in the birth of the "Redux II" Avenger, known for hurling computer chips and deionized water containers at his or her enemies.
Bats More frequently heard in a frantic shriek (ie "BATS!!! BATS!!!"), these small winged mammals apparently terrified the clones during the clone revolt. No-one else could see them, but their presence caused the clones to go into a frenzy, whipping at the air and often not heeding anything else that went on around them. This was often very convenient for captive LabMice, who could use the distractions for their own gain.
Beakers, Glass

(Melaleuca home page)

An extreme rarity in the Lab. For some reason, our shipments of glass beakers never arrive intact, mystifying Odie the Beaker Keeper. If we ever do manage to get even one single glass beaker, it somehow shatters. We have begun to suspect a curse of plastic beakers.
Beakers, Plastic The bane of the Lab, these plentiful objects either arrive instead of our glass beakers or as replacements for the shipment that just broke. Every once in a while, they simply crop up without us knowing from whence they came. Because they cannot be used in any experiments involving heat, the plastic beakers are practically worthless. We pondered using them to rebuild the Lab after the Great Fire, but as of now nothing has been decided upon. We just have warehouses full of the stupid things.
Beanie Babies Nationwide craze that has infiltrated the LABB. (See subgroups.)
Beiser, Brendan

(pic by Duc, from Excess Baggage)

The fine actor who portrayed Agent Pendrell. A Boston-born Vancouver native with red hair, a stage background and a really, really good sense of humor. We hope... Also known as "BB". Born on 17 April 1970. He has appeared in several television shows (Viper, The X-Files), TV movies (Harvey) and feature films (Excess Baggage), to name a few. He and friend Trevor White also have their own production company, through which they produced the play ”aardvark!. Brendan has been known to send letters to the LABB updating us on what's new in his life.
Beiserville Neighboring town to LABBVille. Popular bar The Mouse Hole is located midway between Beiserville and LABBVille.
Big Bertha Odie's cellmate when she was arrested after the Clonemobile incident. After Odie was released, Big Bertha moved in with her and refused to ever leave.
Bippy, Dr LABBVille psychiatrist who, among other things, tried to help Odie and her clone Penni reconcile their differences. It didn't work, and Odie eventually took out her frustrations on Dr Bippy, landing him in Teso Taco-Loco Hospital.
Cappuccino, Doof Exactly what it sounds like...cappuccino with a ton of Doof added. Just for flavor, mind you. *ahem* It's also one of Madame Boing's favorite drinks.
C*rter, Chr*s

(24 Hours in Cyberspace)

(aka "KKK" or "Satan") The creator of The X-Files. After his merciless "murder" of Agent Pendrell in "Max" his name has become the foulest of curses. Therefore it is highly encouraged to use the asterisks or just his initials (CC) so as not to offended those of delicate sensibilites, and to protect children from filth. KKK stands for Kris "Kooky" Karter and Satan, well, you know. (Also see Sp*tnitz, Fr*nk)
Chain Letters Along with flaming, the sending of chain letters was one of Queen Sue's big no-nos for the list. Therefore, we all found it hugely amusing when she herself was sent one by none other than Brendan! As a means of humorous retaliation, we compiled our own chain letter which Sue forwarded on to Brendan. This was full of hellos by all the LabMice, plus phone numbers from a few and one rather personal question. (see Ginger Colouration)
Chat, The Funeral An infamous LabBoy chat the week after Pendrell's "death" in "Max". What happened? Let's just say "Corpse + Beer + Clowns + Naked Priest = Funeral" Ask for a log and hold on to your hat. Only rivaled by:
Chat, The Pendrell Strip-O-
Rama and Mudwrestling
The first of the truly notorious chats. There are few words to descibe this insanity. We did get the Pendrell clone idea after this brainstorming session. Again, ask for a log and hide the children.
Chronicles of LabBoy Fanfiction archive maintained by Abree. All Pendrell stories, all the time! Visit the COLB site.
CiCi, Aunt Cutesy name given to CiCi by the clones in her training compound. The first batch of clones, being as wayward as they were, were sent to the Isle of Comox for training at CiCi's hand. And whip. And other stuff. But they came out of it all right! We think... (also see Lean, CiCi)
Clonemobile Large Volkswagen van intended for fun outings with clones. Unfortunately, the one that Odie bought had a dead body stashed in it. Way to pick 'em, Odie! Anyway, it got the entire LABB involved in a murder trial.
Clone Revolt A terrifying two-month period between September and November, 1997, in which almost all of the LABB clones decided that they wanted to rule the world. Led by Penni, the clones - or "genetic icons", as they decided they would rather be called - attempted to seize control of a radio station in order to play Perry Como music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Visit the clone revolt web page. (Also see: Bats; Dustbusters; Kilts)
Clones Pendrell clones created by Jen the Clonemaster after Pendy's unfortunate "demise" in "Max". Upon joining, each LABB member is given the opportunity to pick out his or her own clone from the clone corral (along with a lab coat). Before you get naughty-minded, using clones for interpersonal recreation is discouraged. (They do give great backrubs, however...)
Clones, First Batch of Incomplete clones created during the drunken Pendrell-Clone-A-Rama chat and set loose afterwards. They continue to wreak general havoc throughout cyberspace and the Lab. Many have also been adopted, and continue to wreak havoc on their owners. (See Penni and Teso Taco-Loco Hospital)
Clones, Second Batch of The second batch of clones was created several months after the first batch, when some of the bugs had been worked out. But not all. These clones are far more stable, but...well...they still have their problems. There has not been another batch of clones produced, possibly because our person in charge of clones left the LABB.
Clones, Unallowed There exists a rarely-quoted LABB rule that the only clones allowed are Pendrell ones; all Mulder clones are to be shot on sight. Nevertheless, in recent months the LABB has been inundated by non-Pendrell clones. Fortunately, none are of Mulder; however, there seems to be a proliferation of Monkees clones. More than likely, this particular batch can be traced back to one or two people. These clones do, at least, get along well with the Pendrell ones.
Clyde Mysterious insect from India discovered in a box of tile by Roni's mom's boss. The story of this bug which none can identify intrigued the LABB. Before Clyde could disintegrate completely, Roni made certain to take some snapshots, one of which was distributed to LABB members.
Como, Perry Favorite music of the clones during the Clone Revolt. His last name is disturbingly similar to that of Agent Comox.
Comox, Agent The name of the character in "Nisei" that, by "731", had become Agent Pendrell. See EnCat's page: Pendrell vs Comox?
Courthouse Site of the LABB's infamous murder trial. Clones Ian and Shirley like to drop empty Doof bottles from the roof of the courthouse as people walk by, so careful where you step if you decide to pay a visit to this historic building. (Well, it was historic until it was burned down in the Great Fire.)
Crossdressing A flaw of most first-generation clones is their tendency to crossdress. Some (see Penni) have even gone so far as to adopt a completely feminine persona. Generally the feeling on this is that if your clone decides that he likes to wear women's clothing, grin and bear it. It could be worse. (see Penni again)
Curse of Madame Boing, The Madame Boing was so outraged by her treatment at the hands of the LABB that she cursed the entire group with a plague of cheeses (mostly stinky cheese) and an endless supply of plastic beakers (as though we didn't already have one!).
Denial The favorite pasttime of the LABB. With perhaps a few exceptions, none of us believe that Pendrell is actually dead. He is "dead", and will return to us as soon as the writers see fit to bring him back. We think he is either being held by the Syndicate, babysitting Emily, or, if absolutely necessary, an agent of Cancer Man who has been hidden away until further needed. Anyone who claims otherwise is a big fat liar.
Doof (1) Nickname applied by Agent Pendrell to himself after he embarrassed himself in front of the lovely Agent Scully.
(2) The brand of beer assumed by the LabMice to be Pendrell's final drink. Also the Official Beer of the Lab and LabBoy chats. Smooth, cold and tasty, with an alcohol content ten times the legal limit. Comes in a wide variety of flavors and types, including Doof Lite, Doof Lager, nonalcoholic O'Doof, and Dos-Doof-eski Vodka.
Doof, Bootleg Created by Janet in her home distillery, bootleg Doof is stronger than regular Doof and, well, technically illegal, but that doesn't stop many LabMice from happily imbibing. Apparently goes very well in Doof cappuccino.
Dr Napkins Unflattering nickname applied to Agent Scully following her bizarre attempt to save Pendrell's life in "Max" by pressing a handful of napkins to his gunshot wound.
Dustbusters Preferred weapon of the clones during the clone revolt, although they liked to call them "cute mini-vacuum cleaners". No, they weren't very effective, but when you're attacked by thirteen at once, it can be pretty tiring.
Evita The 1996 musical movie starring Madonna. An early obsession of the LABB (then the LOLB) that sparked controversy over its artistic merit and forced many members to run around hiding their ears from such songs as "You Must Love Me." Known for numerous posters that dotted the LABB hallways.
Fanfiction Contests A popular LABB recreational activity, in which one member organizes the contest around a specific theme and LABB members submit appropriate Pendrell-related stories to be judged. Visit the web sites for the third, fourth and fifth fanfic contests.
FBCI Federal Bureau of Clone Investigations. Their job is to shut down clone factories, and their last big bust was the recent Elvis clone shutdown in Memphis. The LABB was nearly apprehended by them at one point during a spinoff saga created by Mel and Duc.
Foxworthy, Jeff Stand-up comic turned actor, known for his short-lived and troubled television series and especially for his "you might be a redneck if..." jokes. Also bears a striking resemblance to Garrett.
Garrett, Scott Mysterious moustached man ably played by Greg Michaels in the episodes "Tempus Fugit / Max". We hate him. With a passion. Garrett is the wicked, evil man who shot Agent Pendrell (in a nonfatal way), resulting in his temporary disappearance from The X-Files. LabMice everywhere cheered when Mulder threatened to shoot him, but were then saddened by Garrett's abduction by aliens before Mulder could follow through. We hope the aliens are doing horrible things to him. Garrett is not-very-affectionately nicknamed "Jeff Foxworthy" because of his remarkable physical similarity to the comedian, although we mean no disrespect to Mr Foxworthy with such an unflattering comparison.
Ginger Colouration In the chain letter sent to Brendan by the LABB, Jenna (JenbodUK) was bold enough to inquire if...um...well, she asked Brendan whether...that is to say, did he have... Well, anyway, Brendan thought it was funny. Phew.
Glued to the Floor Early LABB saga that developed when Odie was attempting to glue together all of the broken glass beakers, but spilled some glue on the floor and got stuck to it in the process. In the attempt to free her, CiCi found herself stuck, as well. Duc tried to help, but also got stuck, with a saw attached to her forehead. Odie and CiCi's hands adhered together, and because this made them unable to drink their much-needed Doof, the concept of Doof IVs was born. Finally, after about 67 hours, the trio were unstuck.
Good Morning LABBVille

pic by Duc, of herself trussed up on GML

Sporadically-produced show starring Penni, in which heshe interviews various LabMice and other guests. Guaranteed to be a riot, especially because you never know what's going to happen next! One particularly popular episode centered around Duc waiting to receive her phone call from Brendan. "Good Morning LABBVille" was recently cancelled, and now Penni is trying to find a station in Beiserville that will air it.
Great Fire Started by Crey, who was trying to teach Shiban a well-needed lesson, this terrible tragedy destroyed all of LABBVille, including the Smelly Cheese Factory and even the sacred Lab itself.
Harvey (Also HAAAAAARVEEEEEY.) Infamous update of the 1950 James Stewart classic, starring Harry Anderson, Leslie Nielsen, Lynda Boyd and...Brendan Beiser. Originally intended to air on CBS in May 1997 but now simply circulates the Euro TV market. Rumors of its release, and its subsequent failure to materialize, continually infuriate the LabMice.
HOCUM The Honorable Order of United Canadian Mice (no, the acronym is not quite in the same order as the phrase, but it sounds better that way). This brave and wonderful group actually picketed the set (or somewhere near it) the week before Pendrell's "demise". They also created and and planted The Eternal Mouse, a large ceramic mouse upon which they painted a white lab coat and placed on the side of the road that must be traveled on to reach the set. (This is a true story!)
Hole in the Wall Early LABB saga in which a shadowy figure was spotted hiding behind the wall peering out of an Evita poster. Carson wanted to negotiate, but Duc decided to break the wall down, and together with Crey, they went in search of the mysterious figure...which turned out to be none other than Chr*s C*rter!
Intubation Medical procedure that Agent Scully requested be performed on Agent Pendrell during "Tempus Fugit" / "Max". However, we were never shown this procedure taking place; therefore, we assume that it never did take place. We feel that Pendrell was not given a fair shot at life. (But still, he's not dead. See Denial)
Isle of Comox Location of the clone training compound run by Aunt CiCi; also, a popular vacation spot for the LABB. Flights to the Isle of Comox can be chartered through Litmus Paper Airlines.
IVs Popular method of Doof ingestion because it gets to the bloodstream quickly. Some people (see Lean, CiCi) have been known to run on over ten IVs at once.
Kilts Garment favored by the participants in the clone revolt, in red-and-yellow or pink-and-orange plaid. We have no idea why, except maybe that they're very fashionable. Often accompanied by a tight, spangly silver tank top, purple beret, black (or chartreuse) cape, and clogs. In this combination, they are not fashionable at all. Just what you'd expect from clones, really.
Lab, The The home of the LABB, and the place in which all scientific experiments are done. The original Lab was destroyed in the Great Fire, and for several months all of LABBVille existed only as buildings made of stinky cheese. Rebuilding has progressed at a steady pace, however, and we finally have a brand-spanking-new Lab! Recently, several LabMice got together and constructed a new exterior for the Lab, complete with revolving front door and a foyer with a Brendan Beiser-mosaic floor.
LABB Loyal Admirers of Brendan Beiser. This is who we are.
LABBARD It was noticed that among the members of the LABB there was a higher-than-normal ratio of people who prefer rainy days to sunny days. As a result, the sub-group LABBARD, or Loyal Admirers of Brendan Beiser and Rainy Days, was formed. Currently there are twenty-one members, nine of which have since left the LABB. (Also see subgroups)
LabBoy (1) Common nickname for Agent Pendrell.
(2) AOL chat room in which LABB members gather every Tuesday evening at 9 pm EST. Chats here are reputed to be extremely...different. They are also mandatory, although the punishment for missing is not quite as severe as that given to lurkers. Instead, chat absentees are usually only forced to listen to Rose yell at them later for not coming. (Her words, not mine!)
LABBVille Town in which the Lab is located. LABBVille is also equipped with a courthouse (see Trial), an airport (see Litmus Paper Airlines), a mental hospital (see Teso Taco-Loco) and the Mouse Hole, a bar on the outskirts of town.
Lab Coats Activewear/leisurewear/work uniforms of the LABB. Should come in a sparkling freshly starched white, but have also been seen in black (see Women in Black), pastel and tie-dye colors. Bestowed upon new members with aplomb, who are encouraged to keep them neat and place them upon their name-plated hooks upon exiting the Lab.
LabMice Name given to members of the LABB. (see Pendrellites)
LA Trip Trap The latest LABB saga! Chr*s C*rter asks CiCi to bring all the LabMice to LA to be extras in an upcoming episode of The X-Files in which Agent Pendrell finally reappears. CiCi agrees, elated, but little does she know that it is all a plot by Chr*s C*rter to be rid of the annoying Pendrell fan club once and for all... Visit the LA Trip Trap site.
Lean, CiCi Fanfic writer extraordinaire, Doof consumer that none can rival, and current Queen of the LABB. CiCi took over the royal throne from Sue when real life became too hectic. Most of us were surprised to learn that one of our number actually had a life! Anyway, CiCi hasn't just filled Sue's shoes, she's made a pair of her own (is that a valid metaphor?), and is doing a fantastic job keeping the list on track. Keep up the good work, CiCi!
Litmus Paper Airlines The only airline in LABBVille. It flies to one solitary destination, the Isle of Comox, although they can be bribed every once in a while to charter flights to other locales. Not that much good, really, but otherwise how would we go on vacation?!
LOLB Lovers/Likers Of LabBoy, the first acronymical (is that a word?) title before "LABB" took hold. Tends to represent a ignorant and early fandom, before knowledge of Brendan Beiser's bad dress style or Pendrell's death rocked the LabMice.
Lurkers Lurkers in the LABB are forced to watch an endlessly looping tape consisting of "Teso dos Bichos", "El Mundo Gira" and "Sanguinarium". This is intended to make them desperately want to write so that they can leave the tape room. However, it seems that some of these episodes are more popular than the lurkers have let on, because many of them write, at most, one letter, despite how much we want and would love to hear from them! (see Queen Thud)
Madame Boing

(pic by...? Thanks Odie!)

Psychotic psychic called into the Lab to exorcise the angry spirit of the recently-departed Mr. Woo. Suspiciously, her exorcism consisted only of liberally dousing the Lab in Ghost-B-Gone aerosol spray. After she tried to charge us for her woefully inadequate services, she was revealed as a charlatan. When we refused to pay her, she cast the curse of Madame Boing upon us, promptly stole the entire LABB bank account and fled. She later appeared as a hostile witness in the LABB murder trial, along with John Shiban and Snuffy-Jo. After being captured during the Clone Revolt and addicted to Doof cappuccino, she now sells "spices" and reads fortunes from her gypsy tent.
Mouse Hole, The Popular after-hours bar located midway between LABBVille and Beiserville. Besides stocking all varieties of Doof, it also contains a new all-night cafe.
MrSp00ky A name-dropping X-Files insider, who insists on torturing us with half-baked tales of his adventures with BB (lunch, photo sessions, letters, etc.) but steadfastly refuses us any information we REALLY want to know. (ie. his next TV appearances, what did he eat for lunch, any convention appearances, etc.) A subject of much hostility, resentment, and irritation amongst the LABB, even though we hang on his every word (which are few).
Nicknames Among the many nicknames given to Agent Pendrell by the LABB are: Pendy, LabBoy, DoofBoy, Agent Pup, Red-Haired Love God (per Duc...), BioSuitBoy, Agent Doof.
Pendrell, Agent

(pic by Duc)

The subject of all our insanity! A lab tech besotted with the faraway Agent Scully, Pendrell was always only too eager to help out his lady love in any way possible. Usually clad in a white lab coat (with one or two notable exceptions), the redheaded Pendrell was highly likely to trip over his words and blush heavily whenever Scully was in the vicinity. This puppylike crush instantly endeared him to thousands of viewers, and he soon became a recurring character. Pendrell was apparently shot dead in "Max", although the complete lack of a body and the mysterious circumstances under which this happened lead many LabMice to prefer denial instead. Wonderfully portrayed for nine episodes by Brendan Beiser.
Pendrellites Name applied to Pendrell fans by those who don't know any better; much-maligned for its lack of creativity and originality. EnCat has been bestowed with the royal title of Searcher, Finder, Reporter and Killer of Those Who Dare Call Us Pendrellites. If you spot any instances of the word "Pendrellite", be sure to alert EnCat immediately so that she can take quick and decisive action!
Pendrells, The One of two other Internet Pendrell fan clubs. While we are very happy that more than one club exists, we also enjoy the friendly rivalry between our two tribes, a bit like the joshing between fraternities on a college campus. (PS: LABMICE RULE, PENDRELLS DROOL!!!) Visit the Pendrells site. (Also see PSG, The)
Penni

(pic by Duc)

The most notorious clone of the LABB. Penni P was originally simply "Odie's clone" but he soon began to flourish in his own right. Penni took heavily to crossdressing and now is sort of gender-neutral with a pronounced bent toward female. Heshe is highly fond of hosting Tupperware parties, has become a Jehovah's Witness, and tries to sell as much Mary Kay as heshe can. Facials are hir speciality, or so heshe likes to think (we have been told they feel like concrete). Penni's favorite color is pink, just like the color of the Mary Kay cars. After Odie practically disowned hir, heshe developed a close friendship with Debi. Penni was the leader and co-instigator of the clone revolt and also hosts Good Morning LABBVille (see picture at left). Heshe recently married Brian, Abree's clone, following which the two of them went on a brief honeymoon to Algeria. After their return to LABBVille, the couple stayed in Carson's house for several months, along with Nick, the GML cameraman. They later moved out and found an apartment outside LABBVille before deciding to bunk with Rose instead. Heshe and Brian have their very own clone, Jerk, who is temporarily living with Janet. (Also see Personal Pronouns)
Personal Pronouns Penni's gender-switching has led to a difficult problem - what pronouns do we use to refer to him? her? it? The general consensus is that Penni should be called by both pronouns, hence "Heshe tried to threaten me with a cute mini-vacuum cleaner". The objective pronoun is a combination of the two, hence "I saw hir at Debi's house yesterday."
Pez Candy that enraged the clones during the clone revolt. All LabMice were "Pez lovers" and one of the clones' many missions was to destroy all Pez. Now, Pez shares the "official candy of the LABB" position with Smarties.
Pipette Raspberry-flavored non-alcoholic soft drink that was introduced to the LABB during a Doof drought. Reported to be an excellent chaser for Doof, if a little bit too sweet otherwise.
PSG, The Pendrell Support Group. The other of the two Internet Pendrell fan clubs. Visit the PSG site. (Also see Pendrells, The)
Queen Thud The most mysterious person ever to pass through the LABB. Queen Thud never actually said a word to us, despite our curiosity regarding her screen name. After a while, the lack of response to our questions and comments made some of us become REALLY curious. We tried including Queen Thud's name in letter subjects, to draw her out, but to no avail. Then we started speculating - who was she really? Maybe Brendan in disguise? Chr*s C*rter? Penni? One LabMouse actually managed to catch Queen Thud in IMs and pleaded with her to write us a letter. She said she'd try. But we didn't hear from her. We started writing Queen Thud into the clone revolt, hoping that she would read it and be amused and decide to talk to us. It did not work. Eventually, Queen Thud left the LABB, never having spoken a single word. We still wonder who she was...
Rogue Beiserettes The ultra-fanatical division of the LABB. The Rogue Beiserettes - and one Rogue Beisermeister - are dedicated to the gentle, polite persuasion of all individuals and media groups that Brendan is the best actor around. And if they don't agree, then the Rogue Beiserettes will kick their - uh, well, you can fill in the rest yourself. Or visit the Rogue Beiserettes page. (Also see subgroups)
Sagas A popular activity on the list is to periodically start a "saga", or a list-wide adventure in which anyone can join. The more participation, the more fun it is! The first true saga involved Mr Woo and, shortly thereafter, the 500-pound mouse. The brief Hole in the Wall saga overlapped with the Glued to the Floor saga. Then came the much longer Trial. Following the Trial was the Clone Revolt. The latest saga is the LA Trip Trap.
Sarah The honorary baby LabMouse. Inducted after she pointed at CiCi's web site and said "I like him, Aunt CiCi." A mouse in the making!
Scully, Agent

(Elegy, from the official XF web site)

(1) One of the best female characters ever on television; strong, resourceful, with firm beliefs and a many-layered personality.
(2) The woman for whom Agent Pendrell was intended. His perfect match, his destined love, his fate.
(3) Potentially the dumbest woman alive. She had a great guy, who would do anything for her, just begging for her to pay some attention to him, but she never did. Amazingly, when Pendrell was shot, instead of devoting all of her energy to ensuring that he was all right, she attended to other minor tasks at the same time. (Also see Dr Napkins) And somehow, she either never caught his first name or forgot that she knew it. But at least we know that she did care, even if she didn't always show it.
Seagulls, Alka-Seltzer Official defense system of the LABB. Did you know that when seagulls eat Alka-Seltzer, they explode? (Do not try this at home!) Set off a couple dozen of these babies, and watch the bad guys run for the hills. Alka-Seagulls are primarily for use against such villains as Chr*s C*rter and Fr*nk Sp*tnitz, but on occasion even LABB members have been Alka-seagulled.
Shiban, John

(pic by EnCat)

Co-producer of The X-Files, and writer of several episodes...namely "The Walk", "Teso dos Bichos", "El Mundo Gira" and "Elegy", as well as co-writer of "Leonard Betts", "Memento Mori", "Christmas Carol", "Emily", "Travelers" and "All Souls". Because a few of these episodes are considered shockingly sub-par, he frequently comes under fire from all sectors. The LABB is not one to miss out on such sport, and so poor Shiban is the butt of all manner of jokes, not to mention a participant in the infamous trial, during which he was poked in the back of the leg by a great many pencils. (See Avengers)
Smarties In the USA, Skittles. (Not the candy-coated chocolate lentil sweets of the UK.) Small, fruit flavored candies native to Canada. Tasty and filled with life-saving sugar, these are the official candies of the Lab (along with Pez). They were also the subject of The Smarties Experiment, a test to see if different colored Smarties actually taste different. Results were never compiled because the 500-pound mouse ate the control batch.
Snuffy-Jo Homeless man who sold Odie the Clonemobile and framed us for murder. The lout.
Socks (1) Item of footwear presumably worn by Agent Pendrell at all times.
(2) Series of innuendo-y but not explicit Pendrell/Krycek slash fanfic, primarily authored by CiCi Lean and Abree Brand, that has gained notoriety in the LABB. Visit the Socks series web site.
Sp*tnitz, Fr*nk

(pic by atoz)

(aka Spotnazi, Spotnitwitz) Along with Chr*s C*rter, co-writer of the two-part story "Tempus Fugit" / "Max". For some reason, despite this, he is not as reviled as CC. Nevertheless, we are not happy with him. When asked why he decided to "kill off" Agent Pendrell, his reply was, "I felt really bad about that. Actually, that was a tough call. There were drafts of that script where he lived. Um... and I don't know what to say except that the story would work better if he died." Uh-huh. Right, Fr*nk. Then Vince Gilligan has the gall to add, "Just be glad that we didn't kill Frohike. The original draft of 'Memoirs of a CSM' had him getting killed, so..." Vince, would you like to ask us just how many of us would be perfectly happy to trade Frohike's life for Pendrell's? Still, this does show that at least Sp*tnitz feels remorse for what he did, unlike some other co-writers.
Stinky Cheese Following the curse of Madame Boing, a stinky cheese factory opened up right across from the Lab. Many LabMice were also subscribed to the Stinky Cheese of the Month Club, against their will. During the Great Fire, the stinky cheese factory exploded, blanketing all of LABBVille in several feet of stinky cheese and extinguishing the fires, but not until the damage had been done. Most LabMice tried to make the best of it by building new homes out of stinky cheese, but this got old fast. Eventually Duc was able to persuade some fast food companies to bulldoze the cheese out of our hands, and once this was accomplished, the LabMice were able to rebuild their town.
Subgroups Every once in a while, several LABB members discover that they all have a particular thing in common. When critical mass is reached, an informal "subgroup" is formed. Probably the first such group was the Rogue Beiserettes, soon followed by the Synosnymnymm League and LABBARD. Other groups include: LABBWOBB (WithOut Beanie Babies), a group that started out strong but whose numbers have been reduced to one thanks to the relentless onslaught of the cute stuffed toys; LABBFLAXFE (Fans of Less-Appreciated X-Files Episodes), including LabMice who like "The Field Where I Died", "Teso dos Bichos" and "El Mundo Gira"; and, LABBAB (And Broadway), a group with very vocal members, most of whom seem to be primarily interested in "The Phantom of the Opera".
Sucking Chest Wound

(pic by atoz)

The sucking chest wound was one of those terms commonly used to refer to Pendrell's "death" scene, but...what did it really mean? The term was coined fairly quickly after "Max", it seems, because most people coming into the LABB had no idea what it meant, really. Eventually some of us started asking out of curiosity, after having seen it discussed for several months. But the creepy thing was, nobody would tell us what it meant. We asked and asked and poked and prodded and still no-one would answer. Thus began the first subject-title campaign. The words "sucking chest wound" were used in all letter subjects by the people who were lobbying to find out the definition. Only a couple of LabMice were extremely fanatical about it, but a large group of others were curious. Finally, one day, Debi explained that a sucking chest wound was just a chest wound and, well, it sucks! That answer seemed too simplistic, so the lobbies continued. Rose came up with a classic phrase, altered from a line in "Pusher" - "Please explain the scientific nature of the 'sucking chest wound'." This became a sort of slogan in the effort to learn the meaning of the phrase. Eventually Duc came forward and admitted that it was "an actor who gets killed for little pay." Well, that didn't sound right either, so we kept arguing about it, and eventually figured out that, indeed, Debi's definition had been correct. Because Pendrell had been shot in the chest, it was a chest wound. Because it was so ill-timed and unnecessary, it sucked. Hence, a sucking chest wound. Campaign successful!
Sue, Queen Founding Queen of the LABB. Sue reigned from 30 November 1996 until 21 October 1997, bestowing titles, keeping in touch with Brendan, and forming the list into the buoyant and fun place it is today.
Synosnymnymm Word invented by EnCat in the quote "Did you know that angered is a synosnymnymm for enraged?" This word became so popular amongst the LABB that it now has its own fan club, the Synosnymnymm League. Visit the League's web site. (Also see subgroups)
Talent Contest Organized by Janet, with her clone Hugh as the MC, this exposition featured a number of clones demonstrating their own unique talent. It was held on 13 April 1998 and contained such delights as Nezzie impersonating Elvis, Penni attempting to make Trill's Doof truffles, Ian demonstrating the proper way to drop Doof bottles, and Sean doing Irish jigs to "Danny Boy". In the end, the contest was turned into a talent showcase, because all the entrants were so good. They each received a case of Doof for their performances.
"Tempus Fugit" / "Max" The worst episodes ever in X-Files history. Utterly painful, worthless, and not to be subjected even to one's worst enemy, unless that person happens to be Chr*s C*rter. But he probably wouldn't care, anyway. Grrr.
Teso Taco-Loco Hospital Mental hospital located in LABBVille, staffed by the eccentric Dr Fuller Bull and the scary Nurse Fenity. Rumored to be haunted by ghosts. Also a very popular hangout for many LabMice, some of whom even have their own private rooms. The antics of some clones cause their owners to require some private time here.
Titles Royal titles are bestowed on the LabMice by the current Queen. Generally, when a mouse comes up with a title that he or she would like to have, they submit their proposed title to the Queen, who will approve it. Title can then be added to the signature file, and generally flaunted in every possible manner. Many mice have more than one title. A few mice have many many many more than one title.
Trial, The After Odie purchased the Clonemobile from Snuffy-Jo, a dead body was found stashed inside. Snuffy-Jo told the police that it had to have been the LABB's doing because he didn't know anything about it, so Odie was arrested and thrown into jail. (see Big Bertha) After the LABB rescued her, she was then framed again for buying glass beakers from a black-market beaker broker! With this lending credibility to the idea that the LABB was a criminal organization, we were all put on trial for the murder of the man in the Clonemobile. John Shiban prosecuted, and the judge was Ulysses Will Dread. All of the LABB members took turns testifying and generally terrifying the courthouse, but we were vindicated when Debi was able to prove that we had been framed by Snuffy-Jo and Shiban. There was originally an intention to prosecute Shiban for the murder, but this has yet to happen.
White, Trevor

(pic by EnCat)

Brendan Beiser's best friend since age five. He has worked with Brendan in multiple acting jobs, including: co-writing the play ”aardvark!, co-improvising in the film ”Aardvark!, co-starring in the films The Vigil and The Deadline and co-guest-starring in the television show Viper. <gasp> that's a lotta credentials.
Women in Black LABB Assassins with special training, and special weapons (notably Uzis and the Loud Grasshopper)...not to mention black lab coats and really cool shades.
Woo, Mr (b. 1957 - d. unknown) The former drycleaning professional, employed by the Lab to clean our lab coats, who became disgruntled (and very dangerous) after we took our services elsewhere. Assumed to have been devoured after an encounter with the 500-pound mouse.


Some definitions provided by: Debi, EnCat, Janet, Mel, Odie, Rose, and especially CiCi.
Thanks, you guys!


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